{"id":33995,"date":"2022-05-18T23:38:06","date_gmt":"2022-05-19T04:38:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/cannon-ball-nd-58528\/breaking-silence-and-finding-justice\/"},"modified":"2022-05-18T23:38:07","modified_gmt":"2022-05-19T04:38:07","slug":"breaking-silence-and-finding-justice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/cannon-ball-nd-58528\/breaking-silence-and-finding-justice\/","title":{"rendered":"Breaking silence and finding justice"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Breaking silence and finding justice<\/strong><\/p>\n

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By <\/strong>StrongHearts Native Helpline<\/p>\n

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*TRIGGER WARNING: This personal story includes graphic content that some readers may find distressing.<\/p>\n

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Highest Rates of Child Abuse<\/strong><\/p>\n

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Statistically, Native Americans experience the highest rates of violence in the country, and sadly, that includes cases of child abuse and neglect. As Native peoples, we know that violence was introduced by colonizers. It is not shameful that we were subjugated by colonizers; nor that do we continue to endure violence predominantly at the hands of non-Natives. Our healing has only just begun and we speak our truth so that we, and others, may find healing. <\/strong><\/p>\n

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Hania\u2019s story<\/strong><\/p>\n

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Born on a Navajo reservation, she was named \u201cHania\u201d meaning spirit warrior. It is customary for Native peoples to honor their ancestors with children bearing a name with purpose and promise. So it was with Hania, a little girl with the spirit of a warrior.<\/p>\n

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\u201cEvery weekend, we were left alone to fend for ourselves,\u201d said Hania. \u201cAdults would go to one house and leave their children at another so they could drink.\u201d It might not have been a bad thing to do for a couple of hours, but most times the young ones were left alone for an entire weekend.<\/p>\n

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\u201cOur cousins would come over and we\u2019d play \u201chouse\u201d,\u201d said Hania who explained that without supervision, the children would reenact what they saw in everyday life. It was like a glimpse into the past and the future at the same time.<\/p>\n

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Grandmother Mother<\/strong><\/p>\n

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In Indian Country, it is not uncommon for children to be raised by their grandparents or even aunties and uncles. Such was the case for Hania who spent more time with her grandmother than at home. She remembers that she was not alone. Her eldest brother also lived with her grandmother. He was his mother\u2019s firstborn son who was conceived through rape. When his mother was to wed, her new husband would not accept another man\u2019s child leaving him to be raised by his grandmother.<\/p>\n

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Trauma Bond<\/strong><\/p>\n

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Hania\u2019s brother didn\u2019t understand why he couldn\u2019t live with his mother and siblings. He only understood that he was an outcast. He grew up hating his mother for leaving him every time they came to visit. His feelings of hurt turned to frustration and rage. Ultimately, his spirit was crushed under the weight of feeling unwanted. Despite his anger and rage, his grandmother still loved and cared for him. In the wake of domestic and sexual violence, trauma bonds are formed \u2013 cyclical, normalized, and seemingly unbreakable.<\/p>\n

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\u201cMy grandmother had that trauma bond with my uncle too,\u201d said Hania. She explained that her uncle lived only a few hours away and would come back to the reservation to visit, drink and then physically abuse her grandmother. He also abused his wife and his daughters and if that wasn\u2019t bad enough, he was a sexual predator who took advantage of young women and children, raping them and robbing them of their innocence. This sexual violence was accepted as normal, so they silently endured the abuse. They didn\u2019t know that their silence protected him.<\/p>\n

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Grandmother\u2019s Help<\/strong><\/p>\n

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It was just another weekend, like all of the rest, when Hania spent the night with her grandmother while her cousins, aunts and uncles began their weekend binge. Whenever anyone got out of hand, grandma was depended upon to go pick up her sons before they got into trouble.<\/p>\n

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\u201cMy uncle was intoxicated and it was my grandmother\u2019s first instinct to go and help him in any way that she could,\u201d said Hania. \u201cI pleaded with her not to because he was going to beat her up. [It was just normal for grandma to care for her children despite the potential risk].\u201d<\/p>\n

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When grandmother returned, Hania was hiding under her mother\u2019s car because she didn\u2019t want to be near her uncle. Ultimately, she had to respect her grandmother who beckoned her to come back into the house. Her uncle was waiting and asked her to help him find some tools.<\/p>\n

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The Inevitable Rape<\/strong><\/p>\n

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\u201cI was just being helpful,\u201d said Hania who went inside a vacant mobile home next door to her grandmother\u2019s house where her uncle once lived. \u201cI could hear my grandmother and my [other] uncle calling out mine and my uncle\u2019s name. They were right outside of the mobile home where I was being raped.\u201d<\/p>\n

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\u201cWhen he finished, he walked away like nothing happened and told me not to tell anyone,\u201d Hania continued. \u201cI ran to my grandmother and uncle and told them that he raped me. I was eight years old when I said those words.\u201d<\/p>\n

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Tribal police were called and her uncle was arrested. From then on, Hania was told not to speak of the rape. She knew that her mother and grandmother had also been victims of rape and didn\u2019t know how to navigate finding justice \u2013 they only knew that a price had to be paid.<\/p>\n

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Ostracism after Justice <\/strong><\/p>\n

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\u201cOther women had been sexually abused by him, but I was the only person who spoke up. I\u2019m the only person who put someone in prison for sexual violence,\u201d said Hania who knew what had happened to her was wrong, but she didn\u2019t know that she too would pay a price for justice.<\/p>\n

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\u201cWe were ostracized by cousins, aunts and uncles because this person had to go to jail,\u201d said Hania. \u201cWe used to have birthday parties, family reunions and camping trips. Whenever I did come forward, that\u2019s when the family fell apart. That\u2019s why no one speaks up.\u201d<\/p>\n

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Transparency and Healing<\/strong><\/p>\n

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Hania grew up knowing that transparency is lacking on Tribal reservations where Native peoples are reluctant, if not forbidden, to speak out against domestic and sexual violence.<\/p>\n

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\u201cFear of reputation, accountability, not being believed and fear of change [all contribute to women being silent]. I experienced harassment and being verbally abused by my cousins. They told everyone at school \u2013 told them that I had sex with an older man,\u201d she explained adding that her mother didn\u2019t know what to do.<\/p>\n

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Her mother packed her bags and took Hania to live in Albuquerque, New Mexico where Hania\u2019s older sisters lived. Hania\u2019s father was left behind because he too was abusive. This new life away from the reservation was the beginning of a long healing journey that would eventually prepare Hania for her work as a victim-survivor advocate and as a parent.<\/p>\n

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\u201cI think being transparent with people around you is very empowering and maybe being transparent is what people need. It\u2019s important for me to have those conversations with my children because it\u2019s part of safety planning,\u201d Hania concluded.<\/p>\n

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\u201cMy mother struggled with alcoholism. Nobody has sat her down and taught her how to heal. My grandfather was abusive toward my grandma. It was normal to see someone get beat up. No one ever told her that this wasn\u2019t okay.\u201d<\/p>\n

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No More Silence<\/strong><\/p>\n

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Native people only speak of trauma when ready to heal. We use our voice to remove trauma from our bodies with the spoken word. Though our voices have been silenced for centuries, our people still gather in trusted community driven healing spaces. We participate in sweat lodges, vision quests, Sundance and pow-wows and other avenues seeking a path toward healing. It\u2019s our way of speaking to the next of many generations to come \u2013 that despite the reality of domestic and sexual violence \u2013 we are survivors.<\/p>\n

Native Americans use storytelling to share oral history, to pass down teachings to younger generations and to provide a space for healing. Talking circles can be a source of therapy where victim-survivors find common ground and help each other to navigate domestic and sexual violence. It is in these safe spaces where the need to keep quiet dissolves and transparency can be transformative.<\/p>\n

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One-by-one, StrongHearts Native Helpline listens to stories of victim survivors with the hope of leading the way to safety and sovereignty. We believe that healing can begin with storytelling. That is why it is so important to lift their voices \u2013 especially in Indian Country where secrecy and shame are deeply embedded into the construct of life on a reservation where colonizers \u2013 the dominant society \u2013 ravaged the land and people of Turtle Island.<\/p>\n

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If you\u2019ve been sexually assaulted, StrongHearts Native Helpline can help. StrongHearts is an anonymous, no-cost confidential service for Native Americans and Alaska Natives. For more information, call or text 1-844-7NATIVE (1-844-762-8483) to speak with a StrongHearts advocate. For more information about the impact of domestic violence on children visit our website at strongheartshelpline.org<\/a><\/u>. Read: PTSD Effects On Native Children Who Witness Domestic Violence<\/a><\/u>.<\/p>\n

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The post Breaking silence and finding justice<\/a> first appeared on Native Sun News Today<\/a>.<\/p>\n

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Visit Original Source<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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Breaking silence and finding justice \u00a0 By StrongHearts Native Helpline \u00a0 *TRIGGER WARNING: This personal story includes graphic content that some readers may find distressing. \u00a0 Highest Rates of Child Abuse \u00a0 Statistically, Native Americans experience the highest rates of violence in the country, and sadly, that includes cases of <\/p>\n

Read More<\/a>
Shared by Native Sun News Today<\/a> May 18, 2022<\/p>\n

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