{"id":39662,"date":"2025-12-25T13:16:28","date_gmt":"2025-12-25T18:16:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/cannon-ball-nd-58528\/cheyenne-manners-act-better\/"},"modified":"2025-12-25T13:16:31","modified_gmt":"2025-12-25T18:16:31","slug":"cheyenne-manners-act-better","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/cannon-ball-nd-58528\/cheyenne-manners-act-better\/","title":{"rendered":"Cheyenne Manners \u2013 Act Better"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/span><\/div>
\"\u00a0\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Soon the New Year will arrive\u2014a time for making resolutions and promising to \u201cact better.\u201d With that in mind, reflections about some proper Cheyenne manners might be appropriate. The well of Cheyenne self conduct runs deep; thus, this article touches only upon some very basic etiquette. Some of these manners are in startling contrast to the \u201cnon Indian\u201d manner of thinking, which is much more based upon material things.<\/p>\n

This article has been reviewed and approved by several elders, as it is important to present and explain some basic Cheyenne manners in the right way\u2014both to some young Cheyenne who haven\u2019t had the opportunity to learn, and even some older Cheyenne who sometimes forget from time to time, as well as \u201cnon\u201d friends and readers. Those knowledgeable and venerable ones included Clyde Wolfblack, Lenora Wolfname, Myrna Burgess, and Dick Littlebear\u2014good advisors. This writer is only a translator for others, sharing minimal knowledge which others know in spades.<\/p>\n

Conducting Yourself in Public<\/strong><\/p>\n

At any public or even informal gathering, literally sit in the back and \u201cput your ears on\u201d\u2014listen, that is. A very strict Cheyenne admonishment goes this way: You have no ears\u2014no ability to listen. Listening is learning.<\/p>\n

There will be plenty of people who have something to say, often in a loud and aggressive manner, trying to convince others that they are smart and have the answers\u2014often to no avail. Another person must try to figure out what is good about their talk. If anyone wants to hear your opinion, they will ask. A soft tone of voice, rather than strident or insistent, is preferable.<\/p>\n

Traditionally, that is how the Chiefs behave. They let anyone talk\u2014say what they want to say. At the end, someone will ask a Chief to speak, who then often reminds the People to behave in a good way. \u201cTreat each other good,\u201d is what they advise. After that, the public meeting is over. Then everyone eats together, teasing in a soft and gentle way\u2014sometimes in a \u201cgolly\u201d way between brothers in law, always funny.<\/p>\n

When Insulted<\/strong><\/p>\n

This is the hardest one to learn and practice. Every once in a while, traveling through life, someone insults\u2014intentionally, angrily, or accidentally. Then it is essential to remain calm and not reciprocate in similar fashion. That is how feuds and long-lasting bad feelings come about. Listen, and then thank them for their advice. Harder still, pray for them and mean it. It might not make them act better, but it makes the insulted one feel better.<\/p>\n

Greeting People<\/strong><\/p>\n

It is very important for Cheyenne to greet each other in a positive manner. The standard greetings include: It\u2019s a good day; It is a beautiful day; or at the end of the day, a good night, even if not personally acquainted. If related or friends, also ask, \u201cHow are you feeling?\u201d indicating personal concern. That phrase literally translates to \u201cHow is your stomach?\u201d (your center\/core\/essence). A good response is \u201cgood\u201d; a moderate response is \u201cokay\u201d; a negative response is \u201cnot good.\u201d That is prayer time. The Cheyenne do not lie.<\/p>\n

The differences between Cheyenne and the \u201cnons\u2019\u201d style of greeting have been the cause of some cultural misunderstanding. First, the \u201cnons\u201d are quite direct in greetings: gazing into eyes\u2014sort of a psychological challenge; offering a firm handed grip\u2014apparently an indication of strength, willpower, intent, respect, and manners from that point of view. Cheyenne, on the other hand, avoid direct eye contact, perhaps focusing on your right shoulder or something beyond your head\u2014 respectful in our view. Sometimes the \u201cnons\u201d take that as being \u201cshifty eyed.\u201d Second, do not show power in a handshake; a slight and gentle touch is preferred. Thus, to many \u201cnons,\u201d Cheyenne may be construed as \u201climp wristed\u201d people. However they have not yet challenged a fist fight\u2014just want to acknowledge one another. If a Cheyenne wants to fist fight, it will be very clear. Some Cheyenne are quite confused about this, after centuries of conflict, viewing nearly everything with the \u201cnons\u201d as a challenge.<\/p>\n

Eating Together<\/strong><\/p>\n

By proper Cheyenne etiquette, when a visitor arrives, a Cheyenne woman will first offer something to drink (a cool glass of water, cup of tea, or perhaps even a soda if one is on hand). After all, the visitor might have walked a long way for the visit. If they stay long enough, that same woman will start cooking\u2014no matter the time of day. They offer some kind of food, even if only a cracker and cup of tea.<\/p>\n

The \u201cnons\u201d will usually demur, saying things such as, \u201cNo, I just ate. Thank you, but I\u2019m not hungry,\u201d wanting to be polite and respectful in their way. In Cheyenne contrast, the offering of food is always accepted\u2014 even after Thanksgiving dinner. Otherwise, it is very rude. In the old-time way, and even now, all that can basically be shared is food\u2014the gift of friendship\u2014which, when declined, signals \u201cyou are not good enough.\u201d<\/p>\n

Children, ever hungry, are served first; then women; and then the others, including warriors. The Chiefs then eat. The women who have prepared the food and dished it out to ensure that everyone gets to eat go last\u2014sometimes not eating.<\/p>\n

There is another rule about eating. Unlike the \u201cnons,\u201d who often have a luncheon or dinner\u2014tax write off to discuss business\u2014that is unacceptable among the Cheyenne. First order: pray. Second: enjoy your food. Third: be thankful you have some. And most important: enjoy one another\u2019s company. We don\u2019t know for sure when we will see each other again. After digestion occurs, business can be pursued.<\/p>\n

Children\u2019s Behavior<\/strong><\/p>\n

There are some fundamental words that Cheyenne children learn first: Listen; sit down; be quiet; stop doing that. Children are learning, and in order to do that, they must listen. Often, \u201cnons\u201d will observe that Cheyenne children are very shy. Not so\u2014they are being respectful and listening.<\/p>\n

Cheyenne way: children are not to be front and center, as is the current behavior for so many \u201cnons,\u201d and even Cheyenne children, remiss in manners due to not being instructed, will insist upon taking the stage, demanding attention, and even interrupting the conversation of adults. There will come a time in their life when they have something to say, and it will then be acknowledged. In the meantime, it is not appropriate to be intimidated or give in to the demands of young ones.<\/p>\n

Do Not Point at Anybody<\/strong><\/p>\n

One of the rudest and most aggressive behaviors among Cheyenne is to use your finger(s) to point at another person. When one finger points out, more aim back at you. That is why Cheyenne use lips\u2014indicating direction, purpose, or to make a point\u2014much politer. Pointing at a person, perhaps even punctuating a chest, is extremely aggressive\u2014 time to fight. That is not good, especially among relatives, and should be avoided.<\/p>\n

Giving \/ Generosity<\/strong><\/p>\n

An old Cheyenne saying holds: The best place to store a buffalo is in your neighbor\u2019s stomach. What does that mean? Simple. Sometimes in life, people ride high, blessed with provisions, but often only for a little while. As the \u201cnons\u201d say\u2014\u201ccan\u2019t take it with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

In a blink, a person could end up otherwise\u2014dependent upon others for sheer survival: a place to sleep, survive the harsh winds of winter, and have something to eat. If not, face death. Although the Cheyenne always survived this way, people were reminded very harshly about this possibility during the Indian wars on the Great Plains. The ones blessed with food and shelter shared.<\/p>\n

A notable example was Crazy Horse, married to a Northern Cheyenne woman who ever took his relatives in. If not for him, the Northern Cheyenne might have perished. Perhaps this should be kept in mind: you can go from high to low very quickly. Then perhaps people you helped when you were \u201chigh\u201d will remember you when you are \u201clow.\u201d If not, Maheo\u2019o will\u2014but his job is not providing the groceries. The Human Beings, known to each other and the Creator as \u201cthe beautiful people,\u201d have to take care of that\u2026 forever.<\/p>\n

Look to Your Relatives<\/strong><\/p>\n

Tribal peoples are incredibly blessed to be connected to so many others. If two Cheyenne\u2014sometimes even with other Tribes, especially the Sioux, Arapaho, and Crow\u2014who don\u2019t know one another sit and talk long enough, they will discover blood or adopted connections, small groups of people.<\/p>\n

It is necessary to acknowledge connection to the other spirits in the world. Some of the most wonderful relatives are four legged\u2014ever so kind and giving, teaching so much, like love without condition. Consider a duck and their way of thinking: keep calm and unruffled, but paddle like the devil underneath. Let the negative roll off your shoulders like oily water.<\/p>\n

Talk Straight<\/strong><\/p>\n

Vince Whiteman, who just read this and agrees, suggested this last part. As he counseled, word by word:<\/p>\n

\u201cYour feet should always follow your words. Your actions should follow because Maheo\u2019o and the spirits see everything. Move forward, no matter what happens, no matter what it is. And always remember: make it RIGHT.\u201d<\/p>\n

He is going to take this article to the Cheyenne Depot and require that everyone he sees read it. \u201cToo many have never learned or forgotten these things,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

Closing<\/strong><\/p>\n

It is very simple: be kind, caring, and helpful when the opportunity arises\u2014even when that is not returned. That is all we have to say right now\u2014classic Cheyenne close.<\/p>\n

We wish you and yours a blessed year in 2026. Maybe next year, we can all \u201cact better.\u201d<\/p>\n

(Clara Caufield can be reached at acheyennereview@gmail.com)<\/span><\/p>\n

The post Cheyenne Manners \u2013 Act Better<\/a> first appeared on Native Sun News Today<\/a>.<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/div>

Visit Original Source<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

<\/span><\/div>

\u00a0 Soon the New Year will arrive\u2014a time for making resolutions and promising to \u201cact better.\u201d With that in mind, reflections about some proper Cheyenne manners might be appropriate. The well of Cheyenne self conduct runs deep; thus, this article touches only upon some very basic etiquette. Some of these <\/p>\n

Read More<\/a>
Shared by Native Sun News Today<\/a> December 25, 2025<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/div>","protected":false},"author":1541,"featured_media":39664,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5627],"tags":[6657],"class_list":["post-39662","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-resource-directory-blog","tag-top-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/cannon-ball-nd-58528\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39662","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/cannon-ball-nd-58528\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/cannon-ball-nd-58528\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/cannon-ball-nd-58528\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1541"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/cannon-ball-nd-58528\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=39662"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/cannon-ball-nd-58528\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39662\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/cannon-ball-nd-58528\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/39664"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/cannon-ball-nd-58528\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=39662"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/cannon-ball-nd-58528\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=39662"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/cannon-ball-nd-58528\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=39662"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}