We almost always feel something else first before we get angry: afraid, hopeless, hurt, disrespected, disappointed, or guilty.<\/p>\n
We use anger to protect\/cover up these other vulnerable feelings. We learned to deny and suppress our feelings so we will not be in emotional pain anymore. However, when something happens in the present, it reminds us of unfinished business in the past and compounds it.<\/p>\n
When life makes us angry, we regard it as a problem to be solved. Most persons feel frustrated when someone or something obstructs them in some way. And most persons respond to the feeling of frustration by immediately wanting the satisfaction of forcing the \u201cobstacle\u201d to get out of the way\u2014or, if it won\u2019t move, to curse it and insult it. Looking at the \u201cother side\u201d is called empathy, and it can go a long way to calming yourself down, keeping the peace, reducing the sense of urgency and fostering simple courtesy.<\/p>\n
If you find yourself consumed with anger, try the following techniques to maintain a calm and realistic outlook.<\/p>\n
\u2022 Focus on the present. If you\u2019re holding on to old hurts and resentments, your ability to see the reality of the current situation will be impaired. Rather than looking to the past and assigning blame, focus on what you can do in the here and now<\/p>\n
\u2022 Pick your battles. Conflicts can be draining, so it\u2019s important to consider whether the issue is really worthy of your time and energy. Maybe you don\u2019t want to surrender a parking space if you\u2019ve been circling for 15 minutes. But if there are dozens of spots, arguing over a single space isn\u2019t worth it.<\/p>\n
\u2022 Know when to let something go. If you can\u2019t come to an agreement, agree to disagree. It takes two people to keep an argument going. If a conflict is going nowhere, you can choose to disengage and move on.<\/small><\/p>\n Visit Original Source<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Anger is an instinctual emotional response from a real or imagined threat. Anger is painful and we need to get relief. We almost always feel something else first before we get angry: afraid, hopeless, hurt, disrespected, disappointed, or guilty. We use anger to protect\/cover up these other vulnerable feelings. We <\/p>\n Read More<\/a>
Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger<\/a> March 13, 2020<\/p>\n