Unfairness arises in situations of powerlessness, disrespect and a lack of reciprocity in your most intimate relationships. Often in relationships you want something or someone to change, but you cannot make it happen, which fuels your desire to defend against this feeling of impotence. Sometimes you cannot even get your
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Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger June 12, 2019
We would certainly take objection to parents who are not teaching their children to read or do math because we know how difficult life will be without those skills. Why is responsibility any different? When we do not teach our children responsibility, we send them into the world without a
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger June 12, 2019
The more aligned a couple is on certain crucial dimensions, the better off they will be in the long term. Below are questions that can help to start thinking about how compatible a couple is: • Do we expect our partner to tell us the amount of money spent on
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger June 12, 2019
How often do you find yourself wondering if you may have simply misunderstood the context or meaning of a text message? Most people are pretty adept at transmitting factual information – names, dates, numbers – to one another. But how about your feelings, wishes, understanding, concerns and decisions? That’s when
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 21, 2019
Healthy communication about a difficult subject doesn’t have to end in agreement. In fact, one benefit of regular conversation with someone who doesn’t agree with you is the discovery that your disagreement can actually be stimulating to both of you. But open-mindedness is essential. Each of you must be willing to
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 19, 2019
When you take someone’s anger-provoking behavior personally, you feel offended and disrespected. Your reaction to your uncomfortable feelings is either to defend yourself or to submit passively to what the other person seems to think of you. Either way, you view the other person’s behavior as a literal, serious, personal
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 19, 2019
To sustain an intimate relationship, we must be able to communicate with one another. Our communication needs to go beyond the events of the day to truthful, heartfelt conversation that explores feelings and issues within and affecting the relationship. Much of what passes for communication in daily life is far
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 19, 2019
Jose and Tina were at it again. She saw Jose looking at his phone and turning his back to her. Tina thought the worst, “He is texting other women, he is planning to leave me.” As soon as he put his phone back on the charger and walked away, Tina
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 1, 2019
Healthy human bodies produce all sorts of physical symptoms that might be uncomfortable, unexpected, and unwanted. With health anxiety there is a misinterpretation of discomfort and normal bodily sensations as dangerous. This typically leads to excessive checking behaviors that are uncontrollable, physically draining, and significantly impacts our quality of life.
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 1, 2019
Anger is an instinctual emotional response from a real or imagined threat. Anger is painful and we need to get relief. We almost always feel something else first before we get angry: afraid, hopeless, hurt, disrespected, disappointed, or guilty. We use anger to protect/cover up these other vulnerable feelings. We
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 1, 2019