One day a wise and respected king decided to humble his son, whom he saw as arrogant and unfit to take over the thrown. The king said to his son the prince, “My son, there is a certain ring that I want you to bring to me. I wish to
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Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger July 28, 2020
Anger is like fire: it cannot survive without fuel. Like fire, unchecked anger can grow out of control and cause enormous damage and pain. But also like fire, anger can be recognized, controlled and managed in our lives. The fuel that keeps anger burning can come from many sources –
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger July 28, 2020
Our brains are naturally wired to focus on the negative, which can make us feel stressed and unhappy even though there are a lot of positive things in our lives. We learn immediately from pain—you know, “once burned, twice shy.” Unfortunately, the brain is relatively poor at turning positive experiences
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger July 28, 2020
If you are out of touch with your feelings or so stressed that you can only pay attention to a limited number of emotions, you won’t be able to understand your own needs. If you don’t understand your deep-seated needs, you will have a hard time communicating with others and
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger July 28, 2020
When people are upset, the words they use rarely convey the issues and needs at the heart of the problem. When we listen for what is felt as well as said, we connect more deeply to our own needs and emotions, and to those of other people. Tips for being
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger July 28, 2020
Some of my clients will say to me: “why do I always end up drinking more than I wanted? I just don’t know….I wish I could change how I talk to my son. We always seem to end up fighting. I just don’t know what to do….I can’t believe it.
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger June 9, 2020
Antigone of Sophocles: “All men make mistakes, but a good man yields when he knows his course is wrong, and repairs the evil. The only sin is pride.” The mind generally uses the “makes-sense-to-me” rule, where you take a position, look for evidence that supports it, and if
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger June 8, 2020
Many of my clients seek therapy because they cannot accept that some things in life cannot be changed:”I wish I hadn’t been abused in childhood”; “I wish my spouse was different”; “I wish these things weren’t happening to me.” When you desire to control the uncontrollable, you set yourself up
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger May 29, 2020
When one person loves the other much more than is reciprocated, the power is all on the side of the less loving. Many people are unable to express their wants. They prevent themselves from asking for what they desire because: • “They want to avoid displeasing.” • “They want to
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger May 29, 2020
Conflict arises from differences. It occurs whenever people disagree over their perceptions, feelings, or opinions. Sometimes these differences look trivial, but when a conflict triggers strong feelings, a deep personal and relational need is at the core of the problem. Some have a need to feel safe and secure. Others
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger May 29, 2020