{"id":7507,"date":"2018-06-27T12:24:20","date_gmt":"2018-06-27T17:24:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/taking-control-part-2\/"},"modified":"2018-06-27T12:24:22","modified_gmt":"2018-06-27T17:24:22","slug":"taking-control-part-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/taking-control-part-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Taking Control: Part 2"},"content":{"rendered":"<div><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"300\" height=\"199\" src=\"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/files\/2018\/06\/ed37b60a29f61c3e81584d04ee44408be272e0dc1fb9104290f6_640_control-300x199.png\" class=\"attachment-medium size-medium wp-post-image\" alt=\"\" style=\"margin-bottom: 15px\" \/><\/div>\n<p>Henry realized that he had not been in control all these years as he thought, he was just playing roles, wasting his life seeking approval. <span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span id=\"more-3530\"><\/span><\/p>\n<p>The game of tug-o-war was over, he was not going to pick up the rope and get dragged through the mud. Henry dropped the rope that bound him to be obligated to caring for others. He set himself free.<\/p>\n<p>As soon as he did, his perspective changed. Performing this task requires a choice. If we don\u2019t make choices for our own happiness, who will? Many people are not used to making choices because they do not trust their own judgment (it is not good enough). They feel obligated to depend on the \u201csuperior\u201d judgment of others. The necessity of making choices on our own behalf is an act of control. This is not merely reacting anymore, this is initiating an action. That can be a risk for some. What if we make a mistake? That\u2019s where courage comes in.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Courage is the willingness to take a risk by doing what is hard and doing it anyways. This includes the risk of making a mistake. Making a choice for ourselves for the first time is hard and that is why it is a success, regardless of the outcome.<\/p>\n<p>Henry chose to fly home for a few days to check in on his mother and then come back to be with his father for perhaps the last time.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>He wasn\u2019t required to predict (control) the time of his father\u2019s demise perfectly.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>He would not be worthless if he failed to see him again.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>He would be worthwhile in spite of it.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>It was a risk that he wished he didn\u2019t have to take.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>But he was doing what he wanted.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>It was an expensive proposition, but he deserved to spend the money on himself, no more and no less than anyone else did.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>It was not a matter of right or wrong.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>There was no one right solution, only imperfect ones.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Henry stopped focusing on trying to prevent or control others and started concentrating on himself.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>He felt liberated from a lifetime of have-to\u2019s, musts and shoulds. <span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Henry was not guilty. He was not innocent. He was an equal.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>He was living in the present. Henry\u2019s rumination about perfection, preventing disasters, and guilt were diminished.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>He was too busy living his life in the real world to obsess. That is success.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>That is control.<\/p>\n<div class=\"likebtn_container\" style=\"\"><!-- LikeBtn.com BEGIN --><span class=\"likebtn-wrapper\"  data-identifier=\"post_7507\"  data-site_id=\"63347fe36fd08b6c05de3d9e\"  data-dislike_enabled=\"false\"  data-icon_dislike_show=\"false\"  data-white_label=\"true\"  data-style=\"\"  data-unlike_allowed=\"\"  data-show_copyright=\"\"  data-item_url=\"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/taking-control-part-2\/\"  data-item_title=\"Taking Control: Part 2\"  data-item_image=\"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/files\/2018\/06\/ed37b60a29f61c3e81584d04ee44408be272e0dc1fb9104290f6_640_control-300x199.png\"  data-item_date=\"2018-06-27T12:24:20-05:00\"  data-engine=\"WordPress\"  data-plugin_v=\"2.6.59\"  data-prx=\"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-admin\/admin-ajax.php?action=likebtn_prx\"  data-event_handler=\"likebtn_eh\" ><\/span><!-- LikeBtn.com END --><\/div><p><a href=\"https:\/\/blogs.psychcentral.com\/anger\/2018\/06\/taking-control-part-2\/\" target=\"_blank\">Visit Original Source<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Henry realized that he had not been in control all these years as he thought, he was just playing roles, wasting his life seeking approval. \u00a0 The game of tug-o-war was over, he was not going to pick up the rope and get dragged through the mud. Henry dropped the <\/p>\n<p><a class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/taking-control-part-2\/\">Read More<\/a><br \/><img alt='' src='\/\/www.gravatar.com\/avatar\/5fdb6db55f063f5e986443bb42db6b14?s=32&#038;r=g&#038;d=https%3A%2F%2Funitedresourceconnection.org%2Fwp-content%2Fblogs.dir%2F1%2Ffiles%2F2011%2F08%2Fcandlesburning.jpeg' srcset='\/\/www.gravatar.com\/avatar\/5fdb6db55f063f5e986443bb42db6b14?s=32&#038;r=g&#038;d=https%3A%2F%2Funitedresourceconnection.org%2Fwp-content%2Fblogs.dir%2F1%2Ffiles%2F2011%2F08%2Fcandlesburning.jpeg 2x' class='avatar avatar-32 photo' height='32' width='32' loading='lazy' decoding='async'\/>  Shared by <a href=\"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/membership-directory\/aaronkarmin\/profile\">Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger<\/a>  June 27, 2018<\/p>\n<div class=\"likebtn_container\" style=\"\"><!-- LikeBtn.com BEGIN --><span class=\"likebtn-wrapper\"  data-identifier=\"post_7507\"  data-site_id=\"63347fe36fd08b6c05de3d9e\"  data-dislike_enabled=\"false\"  data-icon_dislike_show=\"false\"  data-white_label=\"true\"  data-style=\"\"  data-unlike_allowed=\"\"  data-show_copyright=\"\"  data-item_url=\"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/taking-control-part-2\/\"  data-item_title=\"Taking Control: Part 2\"  data-item_image=\"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/files\/2018\/06\/ed37b60a29f61c3e81584d04ee44408be272e0dc1fb9104290f6_640_control-300x199.png\"  data-item_date=\"2018-06-27T12:24:20-05:00\"  data-engine=\"WordPress\"  data-plugin_v=\"2.6.59\"  data-prx=\"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-admin\/admin-ajax.php?action=likebtn_prx\"  data-event_handler=\"likebtn_eh\" ><\/span><!-- LikeBtn.com END --><\/div>","protected":false},"author":1109,"featured_media":7508,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5630],"tags":[4140,10105],"class_list":["post-7507","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-clinicians-blog","tag-anger-management","tag-archive"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7507","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1109"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7507"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7507\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7508"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7507"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7507"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7507"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}