{"id":7555,"date":"2018-04-19T09:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-04-19T14:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/6-ways-to-navigate-anxiety\/"},"modified":"2018-06-27T12:24:47","modified_gmt":"2018-06-27T17:24:47","slug":"6-ways-to-navigate-anxiety","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/6-ways-to-navigate-anxiety\/","title":{"rendered":"6 Ways to Navigate Anxiety"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Anxiety is frustrating. You feel like a stranger inside your own body. You feel like there are mini explosions inside your head, inside your heart. Sometimes, you shake. Sometimes, you sweat. Sometimes, the sensations are hard to describe: You simply feel off or downright terrible.<\/p>\n

Your thoughts race each other around a very large track for hours. Sometimes, these thoughts speak of inevitable, impending doom. Sometimes, they\u2019re more subtle, whispering and strengthening your self-doubt.<\/p>\n

And, naturally, you let these anxious thoughts and sensations dictate your life.<\/p>\n

You let your anxiety determine whether you go to the movies, whether you ask for a raise. You let it determine whether you bring up a certain topic with your boss (you don\u2019t), whether you tell a friend no (you don\u2019t). You let it determine the opportunities you pursue. You let it narrow your life.<\/p>\n

And often you hate your anxiety for making you feel this way, for limiting your life. And sometimes, maybe often, you hate yourself for it, too.<\/p>\n

Dealing with anxiety is difficult. Because it\u2019s so visceral. Who wants to feel discomfort, a kind of discomfort that sometimes feels like it lodges itself deep within our bones?<\/em> Because the thoughts can be so convincing.<\/p>\n

You might try everything you can to make it disappear. But, of course, it never does. Maybe it subsides momentarily. But it inevitably returns. Maybe it\u2019s always with you, lingering in the background and peaking at different times of the week or day.<\/p>\n

While we can\u2019t eliminate our anxiety, we can navigate it. We can diminish its power\u2014and live fulfilling lives, anyway.<\/p>\n

In the book Anxiety Happens: 52 Ways to Find Peace of Mind<\/a><\/em> John P. Forsyth, Ph.D, and Georg H. Eifert, Ph.D, share a variety of valuable and practical strategies. Below are suggestions and insights from their excellent book.
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\nStop trying to flip the switch.<\/strong> One of the reasons we get so angry with ourselves is because we think we can and should be able to turn off our anxiety\u2014like a light switch. We think we should be able to control it. So we try to breathe our anxiety away. We try to run it, drink it and think it away.<\/p>\n

But, according to the authors, that\u2019s impossible. To illustrate just how impossible that is, they suggest making yourself as happy as you can right now\u2014which isn\u2019t the same as thinking of something that makes you happy. Instead, \u201cjust flip the happiness switch and be super happy for the sake of it.\u201d Or make yourself fall fully and deeply in love with the first person you see. Or use your willpower to make your left leg numb, so much so that if you were pricked by a needle, you wouldn\u2019t feel it. Or without covering your eyes, ears or nose, stop seeing, hearing and smelling.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen you try to flip the \u2018no more anxiety\u2019 switch, you\u2019ll activate every aspect of your nervous system that keeps you feeling anxious and afraid. And you\u2019ll do things that end up keeping you stuck and miserable.\u201d<\/p>\n

Do the opposite. <\/strong>Anxiety actually isn\u2019t the problem. Avoidance is. Because trying to avoid our anxiety and fear only fuels them, and it shrinks our lives, write Forsyth<\/a> and Eifert<\/a>. \u201cThere\u2019s no way to approach a vital life while avoiding emotional and psychological pain.\u201d<\/p>\n

So the next time you want to avoid an activity, a place or a person, do the opposite. For this exercise create two columns on a piece of paper. Title one column \u201ctoxic avoidance,\u201d and list every action you take, distraction you turn to or strategy you employ to avoid feeling anxious.<\/p>\n

For instance, you might write: \u201cI stay in my cubicle to avoid seeing my boss because I\u2019m afraid he will criticize my work.\u201d In the second column write down the opposite for each avoidance tactic, such as: \u201cI won\u2019t go out of my way to avoid my boss; if I happen to see him in the hallway, I can simply say hello and keep walking.\u201d<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t buy it. <\/strong>According to Forsyth and Eifert, our minds are like skilled salespeople, who try to sell us certain thoughts. Some of these thoughts are helpful, but some are not. Unhelpful thoughts inevitably leave us feeling anxious and like our life is getting smaller and smaller. When that happens, try this technique: Say, \u201cI\u2019m having the thought that\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

So if you\u2019re thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll have a panic attack if I go out,\u201d think or say aloud, \u201cI\u2019m having the thought that I\u2019ll have a panic attack if I go out.\u201d If a certain image pops up, you can say, \u201cI\u2019m having the image that [insert an image that bothers you].\u201d You also can say, \u201cI\u2019m having the feeling that \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Or, if that doesn\u2019t resonate with you, say: \u201cThere\u2019s thinking,\u201d \u201cThere\u2019s a picture,\u201d \u201cThere\u2019s a sensation.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThis will give you space to see your thoughts for what they are\u2014products of your mind that need not always be listened to, trusted or believed.\u201d<\/p>\n

Replace your \u201cbut.\u201d<\/strong> How often do you say, \u201cI\u2019d like to _______, but I\u2019m afraid of _______\u201d as in, I\u2019d like to meet my friends for dinner, but I\u2019m afraid of getting anxious and embarrassing myself. <\/em><\/p>\n

According to Forsyth and Eifert, \u201cAnytime you put \u2018but\u2019 after the first part of a statement, you undo and negate what you just said.\u201d They also note that \u201cbut\u201d turns anxiety into a big obstacle that must be overcome before<\/em> you can take action. Which is a significant way to shrink your life.<\/p>\n

Instead, come up with three situations where you wanted to do something \u201cbut\u201d you were afraid. Next cross out the word \u201cbut\u201d in each scenario, and replace it with \u201cand.\u201d Then reread the statements, and see if they feel any different.<\/p>\n

When you use \u201cand,\u201d what you\u2019re really doing is giving yourself the freedom and permission to do what you want and to feel anxious. From now on whenever you use \u201cbut,\u201d replace it with \u201cand.\u201d<\/p>\n

Use your senses.<\/strong> This is a grounding exercise you can use any time you get pulled into the past by a painful or traumatic memory: Use your senses to ground yourself in the present.<\/p>\n

For instance, you might taste something strong like a lemon or black coffee. You might smell something pungent like fresh herbs or perfume. You might touch something with a unique texture. You might look at something bright or unusual. You might listen for sounds that stand out in your surroundings.<\/p>\n

Make different choices. <\/strong>Practice having a more welcoming relationship with your anxiety. Instead of an adversary, treat your anxiety as a friend: \u201cThis doesn\u2019t mean you like everything about your anxiety, any more than you like everything about a friend, partner or family member,\u201d write Forsyth and Eifert.<\/p>\n

Anxiety isn\u2019t a choice. But, as the authors underscore, we do have a choice in how we respond to it. Reflect on the choices you can make. Here are several examples:<\/p>\n