{"id":7579,"date":"2018-02-28T10:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-02-28T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/3-challenges-that-come-up-in-therapy-that-are-actually-beneficial\/"},"modified":"2018-06-27T12:25:01","modified_gmt":"2018-06-27T17:25:01","slug":"3-challenges-that-come-up-in-therapy-that-are-actually-beneficial","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/3-challenges-that-come-up-in-therapy-that-are-actually-beneficial\/","title":{"rendered":"3 Challenges that Come Up in Therapy That Are Actually Beneficial"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Challenges provide growth opportunities\u2014if we\u2019re willing to see them as such and to face them. This is especially true for therapy. Yet we tend to assume that in order to be helpful, therapy must be a smooth process, without any hiccups or bumps.<\/p>\n

But it\u2019s these very bumps, when handled in collaboration with a sensitive, skilled therapist, that can often lead to the biggest breakthroughs.<\/p>\n

Below Manhattan psychotherapist\u00a0Panthea Saidipour, LCSW, shared three challenges that are actually beneficial, challenges that help you better understand yourself and enhance not only the relationship with your therapist, but your relationships outside of therapy, as well.<\/p>\n

Challenge: You\u2019re worried your therapist will judge you.<\/h3>\n

You\u2019re convinced that your therapist will think you\u2019re weird for the dreams you\u2019ve been having. They\u2019ll think you\u2019re selfish because you don\u2019t want to homeschool your kids anymore. They\u2019ll think your family is absolutely nuts, and wonder what\u2019s wrong with you.<\/p>\n

You picture yourself being the topic of their dinner conversation. You picture them talking about how weak you are. You envision them recounting all the dumb decisions you\u2019ve made.<\/p>\n

Worrying that your therapist will judge you is actually a super common concern, especially when you\u2019re starting therapy, said Saidipour<\/a>, who works with young professionals in their 20s and 30s who want to gain a deeper understanding of themselves. Therapy requires vulnerability, which understandably sparks anxiety\u2014and all sorts of what-ifs: What if they think I\u2019m a loser? What if they think I\u2019m broken and there\u2019s no way back? <\/em><\/p>\n

Even though it can feel incredibly awkward, sharing your worries with your therapist is vital. In order to be effective, therapy requires honesty. It requires that you tell the truth, no matter how ugly or uncomfortable it might seem or feel.<\/p>\n

When you share such worries with your therapist, often you realize that they\u2019re actually a reflection of how a critical part of you thinks and feels about yourself, Saidipour said. Which, of course, is important information\u2014and important to work through.<\/p>\n

Sometimes, the fear of judgment shows up when you\u2019ve been attending therapy for a while. Which might surprise you, because you have a great relationship with your therapist. According to Saidipour, this might mean that you\u2019re close to discussing a difficult topic, a topic you\u2019ve felt shame over. This is a good thing, too. \u201cUnderstanding this can help you and your therapist become more aware of the significance of that issue in your life, and help guide you on how to proceed.\u201d<\/p>\n

Challenge: You\u2019re mad at your therapist.<\/h3>\n

You feel like your therapist wasn\u2019t listening to you. You think they brushed right over an issue that\u2019s significant and distressing to you. Maybe they interrupted you. Maybe they seemed distracted. Maybe they said something that didn\u2019t sit well with you. Maybe they asked a question that irritated you. And you find yourself getting mad at them. You also find yourself getting mad that you\u2019re mad, because maybe you came to therapy to work on your anger\u2014and clearly it\u2019s not working. <\/em><\/p>\n

Actually, this is normal and, when you talk about it together, presents another key opportunity.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s an opportunity to work on an interaction right away and strengthen your relationship with your therapist, Saidipour said. This is critical because regardless of the type of psychotherapy you\u2019re in\u2014cognitive-behavioral therapy, dialectical behavior therapy, psychodynamic therapy\u2014therapy is about the relationship between you and your therapist, she said. \u201cResearch consistently shows that the quality of the therapist-client relationship is the main predictor of positive outcome of psychotherapy, regardless of what theoretical approach the therapist uses.\u201d (See here<\/a> and here<\/a> for some research.)<\/p>\n

\u201cIf [therapy] were just about learning skills, you\u2019d read a self-help book. So many wounds happen in the context of a relationship, and they are also healed in relationships.\u201d<\/p>\n

Similarly, it\u2019s an opportunity to uncover the relationship themes and patterns that exist outside of therapy for you: These themes might revolve around feeling disappointed or misunderstood by others, feeling isolated and disconnected from others, or feeling angry and critical of others, she said.<\/p>\n

For instance, when your therapist responds with very little enthusiasm about your upcoming job interview, you feel deflated, and the all-too familiar wave of frustration washes over you. When you mention this to your therapist, you realize that you also feel hurt\u2014and utterly rejected. Together you both trace these feelings back to a significant moment when you felt the same way.<\/p>\n

\u201cHaving this conflict in therapy lets you work on it in real time, with someone who\u2019s careful and sensitive to you, and gives you an opportunity to rework old relationship patterns in new ways.\u201d<\/p>\n

Challenge: You have nothing to talk about in session.<\/h3>\n

Maybe you came to therapy during a crisis. You were experiencing difficult, almost unmanageable emotions. Or you were going through a complex conflict, which shook the foundation of a close relationship. Or you were in the middle of major depression or daily panic attacks.<\/p>\n

Now after doing the work, thankfully, things are in a healthier, more stable and settled place. And you find yourself with nothing to talk about in session.<\/p>\n

According to Saidipour, particularly in psychodynamic or psychoanalytic therapy, where the intention is to gain a deeper understanding of yourself, this provides a prime opportunity to excavate.<\/p>\n

In fact, some of the most \u201cfruitful sessions\u201d Saidipour has had with clients have begun with the words: \u201cI have nothing to talk about.\u201d She encourages clients to say whatever comes to mind\u2014whether it feels relevant or not. \u201cFollowing those thoughts [typically] naturally leads us into deeper work, what\u2019s underneath the day-to-day occurrences. Often clients will end those same sessions surprised: \u2018I had no idea that would come up!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

In some cases, you don\u2019t have anything to talk about, because you\u2019re actually afraid to bring up a difficult topic. This fear may not even be a conscious one. Which is why doing deeper work in therapy is so powerful: You can unearth what\u2019s outside your awareness.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat seems like an issue can actually be an opportunity to understand yourself better,\u201d Saidipour said. \u201cThe more you understand about your relationship to yourself and others, the freer you\u2019ll be to move forward in your life.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

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Visit Original Source<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Challenges provide growth opportunities\u2014if we\u2019re willing to see them as such and to face them. This is especially true for therapy. Yet we tend to assume that in order to be helpful, therapy must be a smooth process, without any hiccups or bumps. But it\u2019s these very bumps, when handled <\/p>\n

Read More<\/a>
Shared by Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S., Contributing Blogger<\/a> February 28, 2018<\/p>\n

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