{"id":7622,"date":"2018-07-10T12:09:34","date_gmt":"2018-07-10T17:09:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/being-a-man-in-america-sexism-and-homophobia\/"},"modified":"2018-07-10T12:09:38","modified_gmt":"2018-07-10T17:09:38","slug":"being-a-man-in-america-sexism-and-homophobia","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/being-a-man-in-america-sexism-and-homophobia\/","title":{"rendered":"Being a Man in America: Sexism and Homophobia"},"content":{"rendered":"
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For as long as America has been a country, men have been king of the hill.<\/p>\n

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However, many men have had difficulty adjusting to relatively recent societal shifts from the increasingly powerful role of women in the workplace to the acceptance of same-sex relationships. With globalization, automation, the decline of manufacturing, and the increasing disparity of wealth; there has been a growing number of obstacles around\u00a0 <\/span>what had historically allowed men to become dominant.<\/p>\n

For a lot of men, being the breadwinner is the defining feature of masculinity. They staked their entire sense of manhood on their ability to be providers and protectors. In addition many working class men have had reduced access to more abstract forms of masculine validating power, like economic control or workplace authority. As a result, when changes arise, they feel humiliated. It\u2019s not about being laughed at or embarrassed about being clumsy. It\u2019s more profound. These men feel like they\u2019ve failed at being men.<\/p>\n

However, economic forces are only part of the paradigm shift currently occurring in our country regarding what it means to be masculine. The stereotypical male identity is built on a set of gender norms that endorses features such as toughness, dominance, self-reliance, restriction of emotional expression and the avoidance of traditionally feminine attitudes or behaviors.<\/p>\n

Recently, there has been a closer examination of how we define manliness in the era of MeToo, while adjusting to the living embodiment of toxic masculinity as president. When president Trump talks about making America great again, one of the things he is yearning for is the re-establishment of \u201ctraditional\u201d gender roles. These involve establishing men as dominant and women as subservient, while encouraging that anyone who questions them is attacked. In this way, men are punished (often by other men) in a particularly gendered manner.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

For example, two five year old boys are on a playground. One five year old boy throws the ball and it doesn\u2019t go very far. The other five year old boy yells, \u201cMan you throw like a girl!\u201d That is misogynistic because if being a girl weren\u2019t bad it wouldn\u2019t be an effective insult.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The boy who was called a girl responds with, \u201cShut up you fag!\u201d Now, it is likely that this five year old boy has no idea what that word means, let alone the history of hatred, violence, and aggression associated with it. However, he knows that when he feels emasculated by misogyny, that responding with homophobia is a way that he can try and prop up his masculinity. These degradations work to police the boundaries of what constitutes \u201cstrong and weak\u201d for men.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

There are many men who have lived\u00a0 <\/span>their life as a tough guy. Tough guys appear strong, but their strength is a mask of overcompensation covering up feelings of inferiority and inadequacy. Tough guys aren\u2019t supposed to do a lot of things, like show fear or pain and offer compassion or vulnerability. Yet, men feel a full range of emotions, whether they are \u201csupposed to\u201d or not.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Some men learned that expressing any emotion other than anger was a sign of weakness. Suppressing occurs when we hold our feelings inside for fear of expressing it. Some may have been told that emotions are a sign of weakness or anger makes you tough. Many learn to deny and avoid feelings so they will not be vulnerable to emotional pain anymore. However, internalizing emotions has a negative impact on men\u2019s health.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

According to a study by the Harvard School of Public Health<\/a>, men who suppress their emotions are 30% more likely to die prematurely than people who regularly express what they are feeling.\u00a0 A study in the American Journal of Men\u2019s Health<\/a> found that men who repress their emotions have an increased risk of self-harming behaviors, depression, anxiety, and aggression.\u00a0To this end, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) found that the rate of suicide is 4 times higher<\/a> in men than in women.<\/p>\n

Perceived threats and unfavorable judgements around masculinity, fuel what author and speaker Tony Porter calls the \u201cMan Box<\/a>.\u201d\u00a0The \u201cMan Box\u201d describes the external expectations that society places on manhood such as:<\/p>\n

Act tough<\/p>\n

Act strong<\/p>\n

Never show fear<\/p>\n

Do not admit pain<\/p>\n

Never show weakness<\/p>\n

Do not ask for help<\/p>\n

Do not express emotion \u2014 with the exception of anger.<\/p>\n

Of course, the harm from the \u201cMan Box\u201d isn\u2019t just limited to what these gender norms do to men.\u00a0 It is also directly linked to gender-based violence.\u00a0 When boys are pushed into the \u201cMan Box,\u201d women are seen as objects, property, and having less value.\u00a0Sexism is a huge part of bonding among men who define themselves as heterosexual. The \u201clocker room talk\u201d that Donald Trump refers to, is not just banter, it\u2019s an accepted, encouraged and repeated practice of objectifying and denigrating women.<\/p>\n

In American society, violence against women is at epidemic proportions. We know that one in five women will be sexually assaulted during their first year of college. We know that every six seconds a woman is a victim of domestic violence. We know that one third of all women killed in this country are killed by men that lived in the home.<\/p>\n

We need a system for repairing the pain that encourages men to be angry at the female gender.\u00a0A man may have had one negative female in his life, but that can easily become generalized to the whole female population. As time goes by, he may come to think to himself\u00a0\u201cI am the victim of women, and I am entitled to get revenge, to victimize them as they victimized me. That\u2019s fair.\u201d He may lash out at any woman who is \u201cweak\u201d enough to love him. However, this mindset can be replaced with healthier, constructive feelings by accepting others help.<\/p>\n

How then, do you get people to begin to change their thinking, change their behavior? Well, the first thing is to get people just to notice that, in fact, they make assumptions about other people.<\/p>\n

Their conscious minds may not approve, but once they become tuned into these types of biases and are made aware of them, then they come to understand them as a problem to be addressed. One point to really recognize here is that having these biases doesn\u2019t make people bad people. It makes them rather ordinary, having been socialized into a culture where these biases are embedded into the very fabric of our society. They\u2019re picking up the messages. They\u2019re not bad people. They\u2019re ordinary. And that once men understand the problem that way, they can make a commitment to change, and they can start to think about the change process. If they are habits of mind, they can be broken like other habits can.<\/p>\n

And there\u2019s a number of interrelated factors that have to be set in place. People have to care. They have to be motivated. They have to want to do something. Without motivation, nothing will happen. They need to become tuned into, aware, and notice when they\u2019re vulnerable to displaying biases. They have to have some tools and strategies to do something else, to disrupt that habitual way of thinking.<\/p>\n

And then, like breaking any other habit, they are going to have to put effort into it over time. It\u2019s not something that happens all at once. There\u2019s not sort of a quick fix or a silver bullet, but we can empower people to make the change, and we can provide them with support to overcome these biases.<\/p>\n

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Visit Original Source<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

For as long as America has been a country, men have been king of the hill. However, many men have had difficulty adjusting to relatively recent societal shifts from the increasingly powerful role of women in the workplace to the acceptance of same-sex relationships. With globalization, automation, the decline of <\/p>\n

Read More<\/a>
Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger<\/a> July 10, 2018<\/p>\n

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