{"id":7636,"date":"2018-09-26T13:17:54","date_gmt":"2018-09-26T18:17:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/managing-anger-at-work-expression-and-inquiry\/"},"modified":"2018-09-26T13:18:06","modified_gmt":"2018-09-26T18:18:06","slug":"managing-anger-at-work-expression-and-inquiry","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/managing-anger-at-work-expression-and-inquiry\/","title":{"rendered":"Managing Anger at Work: Expression and Inquiry"},"content":{"rendered":"
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When we understand our anger, we understand ourselves.<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

When something happens in the present that reminds us of feelings from the past, our emotions become exaggerated and we get angrier then the reality of the current situation requires. Our anger from the past compounds the feelings in the present and we explode.<\/p>\n

Therapist: \u201cWho are you angry at?\u201d<\/p>\n

Client: \u201cI\u2019m angry at Jenny.\u201d<\/p>\n

Therapist: \u201cWhat did she do?\u201d<\/p>\n

Client: \u201cShe dumped her work on my desk and took the afternoon off. She\u2019s been doing it for years.\u201d<\/p>\n

Therapist: \u201cWhat angers you the most?\u201d<\/p>\n

Client: \u201cShe is an inconsiderate, selfish brat. She reminds me of my little sister.\u201d<\/p>\n

Therapist: \u201cShe is irresponsible and you have to cover for her.\u201d<\/p>\n

Client: \u201cIt\u2019s always been that way, and I hate it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Therapist: \u201cI can tell it makes you angry. What\u2019s the worst part about it?\u201d<\/p>\n

Client: \u201cIt\u2019s not fair. I have to do my work and hers too. I don\u2019t get two paychecks.\u201d<\/p>\n

Therapist: \u201cWhat\u2019s the worst thing about things being unfair?\u201d<\/p>\n

Client: \u201cThat I get stuck in the end.\u201d<\/p>\n

Therapist: \u201cYou feel taken advantage of, like a victim. That makes you angry. I imagine you want to make her accountable. Who else are you angry at?\u201d<\/p>\n

Client: \u201cMe, for being such a pushover and letting it happen.\u201d<\/p>\n

Therapist: \u201cYou get no appreciation for all you do. No matter how much you give, they always need more. It\u2019s never good enough.\u201d<\/p>\n

Client: \u201cYes, that\u2019s the story of my life.\u201d<\/p>\n

Therapist: \u201cFor some, good for nothing means worthless. She has robbed you of your self\u2011respect. You may even feel it is your fault. You have closed in on yourself, but you are not powerless. You have a choice. You can choose to assert yourself verbally by saying, \u201cI\u2019m confused, help me understand why you left without finishing\u00a0<\/span>your assignments?\u201d You can also choose to write out your anger.\u201d<\/p>\n

Client: \u201cHow will that help?\u201d<\/p>\n

Therapist: \u201cIs your way working? You don\u2019t have anything to lose but your anger. By using this sort of focusing question, you can peel beyond the surface and get to the deeper concern. And by writing out your anger, you will be doing something on your own behalf. You will be in control. That\u2019s how it helps.\u201d<\/p>\n

Client: \u201cWhat if I don\u2019t talk to her or don\u2019t write anything?\u201d<\/p>\n

Therapist: \u201cThen nothing will change. Nothing will get better. But it\u2019s your choice. My life goes on whether you write an anger letter or not. It is entirely up to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Client: \u201cWhat can I do after I write Jenny an anger letter?\u201d<\/p>\n

Therapist: \u201cYou can write yourself an anger letter and see what happens when you get your anger out of your system.\u201d<\/p>\n

Client: \u201cWill it work?\u201d<\/p>\n

Therapist: \u201cThere\u2019s one way to find out. Its OK to have setbacks and disappointments. They are part of the ups and downs of everyday life. If we have a setback, we can learn from it. We can do something different the next time. It takes time to overcome pain and our journey will continue. This is not the destination. Since we cannot control the wind, all we can do is adjust our sails and head in the direction that makes us happy.\u201d<\/p>\n

Successful conflict resolution depends on your ability to:<\/p>\n

\u00b7 Manage stress while remaining alert and calm. By staying calm, you can accurately read and interpret verbal and nonverbal communication.<\/p>\n

\u00b7 Control your emotions and behavior. When you\u2019re in control of your emotions, you can communicate your needs without threatening, frightening, or punishing others.<\/p>\n

\u00b7 Pay attention to the feelings being expressed as well as the spoken words of others.<\/p>\n

\u00b7 Be aware of and respectful of differences. By avoiding disrespectful words and actions, you can resolve the problem faster.<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/div>

Visit Original Source<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When we understand our anger, we understand ourselves. When something happens in the present that reminds us of feelings from the past, our emotions become exaggerated and we get angrier then the reality of the current situation requires. Our anger from the past compounds the feelings in the present and <\/p>\n

Read More<\/a>
Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger<\/a> September 26, 2018<\/p>\n

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