Psychologist Alicia H. Clark<\/a>, Psy.D, also emphasized that anxiety can be rational and productive. \u201cAnxiety is there to help us protect what we care about most, harnessing our focus and energy to do what is needed.\u201d<\/p>\n For instance, you start worrying that your friend or family member hasn\u2019t reached out to you in a while, she said. You wonder, what\u2019s going on? Is there something wrong? What can I do to reconnect to them? That zap of worry \u201ccan be just the boost you need to do something proactive about it.\u201d<\/p>\n You also worry about different work demands: Did I respond to that email? Did I carve out enough time to complete the project? Have I been thorough enough in my report? These worries help you remain laser-focused to get things done, and to do a good job.<\/p>\n You worry about your health: You\u2019re tired, and get winded too quickly. You have an unusual mole on your skin. All these worries prompt you to take action, and consider whether you need more sleep, more movement or a medical checkup, said Clark, author of the book Hack Your Anxiety: How to Make Your Anxiety Work for You in Life, Love and Work<\/em><\/a>\u00a0(co-written with Jon Sternfeld).<\/p>\n Bilek likened anxiety and fear responses to house alarm systems. They help us respond appropriately when there\u2019s a true danger or risk, she said. Some people, however, have an especially sensitive system. \u201cIt goes off when there is a true threat like an intruder, but also when there is a strong wind.\u201d<\/p>\n Instead of trying to get \u201crid\u201d of anxiety, Bilek encouraged readers to focus on how anxiety is interfering in your life. \u201cWhen we identify what matters to us and may be missing from our lives due to anxiety, we have a better chance of figuring out how to solve the problem.\u201d<\/p>\n Bilek shared this example: You love to sing, but you get nervous about performing in front of others. To quiet your anxiety, you stop auditioning for solos. You stop participating in group performances. And, over time, you stop showing up to rehearsals. In the short term you feel better, and find relief. But through avoidance, you also teach yourself that you can\u2019t cope in these kinds of situations. And, as more time passes, you start avoiding other situations to avoid feeling anxious. Which is why you decide to see a therapist who specializes in anxiety and helps you face your fears in a safe, systematic and effective way (i.e., through exposure therapy<\/a>).<\/p>\n In addition to facing your fears, it\u2019s important to keep a curious, open mind about anxiety, Kahn said. She suggested asking ourselves this question in a loving, inquisitive way, without judging or criticizing ourselves: \u201cWhat am I feeling and why?\u201d \u201cSometimes it helps to use the tone of voice with yourself that you associate with loving kindness, such as a close friend or relative.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201c[A]nxiety doesn\u2019t just spring up out of nowhere,\u201d said Laura Reagan<\/a>, LCSW-C, an integrative trauma therapist in the Baltimore metro area who specializes in developmental trauma related to childhood experiences. That is, if you\u2019re \u201canxious most of the time, with frequent spikes in anxiety that are intolerable and sometimes lead to panic attacks, that\u2019s a signal that something more is going on.\u201d<\/p>\n That more is typically rooted in traumatic events from childhood and\/or adulthood or in unmet attachment needs from childhood\u2014believing your emotions were too big, you were too needy, you had to be \u201cgood\u201d all the time, she said.<\/p>\n This is common when you grow up with a primary caregiver who\u2019s depressed, chronically ill, overwhelmed with anxiety or grief, or overwhelmed with the demands of raising a child, Reagan said. In other words, the caregiver is \u201cunable to attend to the child\u2019s emotional needs.\u201d<\/p>\n And this can have devastating effects. For instance, trying to be \u201cgood\u201d all the time suppresses your curiosity, anger, sadness and any other feelings your caregiver can\u2019t accept or handle, Reagan said. This leads you to become detached from your inner wisdom, creativity and compassion, along with all the qualities that make you you<\/em>, she said. Which leads to perfectionism, anxiety, depression, despair. It leads to being inauthentic and to distant relationships.<\/p>\n Reagan wants readers to know that you don\u2019t have to live with this debilitating anxiety; you can feel so much better when you work with a skilled therapist who uses somatic methods to learn how your anxiety started and to resolve it. She noted that effective somatic methods include sensorimotor psychotherapy, somatic experiencing and yoga therapy (her favorite is LifeForce Yoga).<\/p>\n Indeed, Reagan used to think \u201cI\u2019m just an anxious person.\u201d She struggled for years with \u201cconstant low-grade anxiety, which sometimes spiraled to panic and self-loathing and fear that things were never going to be OK.\u201d Thanks to therapy, she learned that this was a response to her experiences with developmental and shock trauma. (Shock trauma is any event a person interprets as life-threatening or terrifying, she said.)<\/p>\n \u201cTherapy that goes deeper, beyond coping skills, to help you access and heal the attachment and\/or trauma wounds causing persistent anxiety will make you feel better than you might imagine is possible,\u201d said Reagan, host of Therapy Chat, a podcast focused on psychotherapy, trauma, mindfulness, perfectionism, worthiness and self-compassion for therapists and the general public.<\/p>\n Reagan also suggested taking the ACES survey<\/a> to find out if you\u2019ve been affected by childhood trauma or attachment issues.<\/p>\n Anxiety is \u201ca normal part of the human condition,\u201d Reagan said. Anxiety is also useful, and can spark productive action. But when your anxiety starts shrinking your life, and dictating what you do and don\u2019t do, it\u2019s time to seek help. And here\u2019s the good news: Anxiety disorders are highly treatable. The key is to see a mental health professional who specializes in treating anxiety.<\/p>\n Visit Original Source<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Anxiety seems like a simple, straightforward topic. After all, it\u2019s a common emotion\u2014everyone feels anxious from time to time. And it\u2019s a common condition. In fact, it\u2019s the most common mental illness in the U.S. Anxiety disorders affect about 18 percent of adults every year. And yet there are many, <\/p>\n Read More<\/a>We shouldn\u2019t focus on eliminating anxiety.<\/h3>\n
If you feel anxious regularly, there\u2019s a reason.<\/h3>\n
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Shared by Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S., Contributing Blogger<\/a> October 13, 2018<\/p>\n