It\u2019s hard because acceptance entails grief and loss. \u201c[T]here is a loss of what the person expected for their life that they think they might not achieve now, given this extra challenge they\u2019re facing,\u201d said Van Dijk<\/a>, who has a private practice in Newmarket, Ontario.<\/p>\n There\u2019s also grief and loss about changes in lifestyle, such as taking medication, eliminating substances and not being able to work while achieving stability, she said.<\/p>\n People might not want to give up what they perceive to be the positive parts of manic episodes, \u201cwhich can make them feel great, alive and very creative,\u201d said Michael G. Pipich<\/a>, MS, LMFT, a psychotherapist who specializes in mood disorders in Denver, Colo. It can be hard to accept that this euphoric experience is actually part of a mental illness, he said.<\/p>\n \u201cFor many, it\u2019s the only way for them to get anything done before they get depressed again. So they will often deny there is any kind of problem, or sometimes even find blame in others to deflect responsibility for owning their bipolar disorder.\u201d<\/p>\n People also struggle with acceptance because there are no tests to \u201cprove\u201d the diagnosis, Van Dijk said. \u201cComplicating matters further, if an individual sees two psychiatrists, they may receive different diagnoses.\u201d<\/p>\n This is one reason why Van Dijk tells her clients that it doesn\u2019t matter what they call what they\u2019re experiencing, because \u201cbipolar disorder is different for everyone.\u201d \u201cPutting a label of bipolar disorder doesn\u2019t change the person\u2019s experience; they know what symptoms they\u2019ve been having and what the issues and problems are they\u2019re dealing with.\u201d<\/p>\n Sadly, it\u2019s hard to accept any kind of mental health diagnosis because stigma is so prevalent and persistent. People often feel ashamed and fearful about how society will view them with their diagnosis, Pipich said.<\/p>\n But even though acceptance is difficult, it\u2019s still absolutely possible\u2014and so is leading a meaningful, fulfilling life with bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n First, it\u2019s important to validate your concerns. For instance, according to Van Dijk, you might tell yourself: \u201cOf course it\u2019s difficult for me to accept this, because it makes my life more difficult, I face challenges others don\u2019t, it\u2019s scary\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n Below, you\u2019ll find other ways to accept your diagnosis\u2014and how loved ones can help. Acceptance is \u201cacknowledging that this is reality.\u201d Can you acknowledge that you\u2019ve been given a diagnosis of bipolar disorder? Pipich often tells people, \u201cwhile you don\u2019t have to fear a bipolar diagnosis, you certainly can fear what an untreated bipolar disorder might do to your life.\u201d Break acceptance into bites. <\/strong>In other words, instead of accepting \u201cI have bipolar disorder,\u201d find something small that you can<\/em> accept. According to Van Dijk, you might accept: \u201cRight now my mood is lower and I have to take meds,\u201d \u201cI am struggling with anxiety,\u201d \u201cI am having problems with substances,\u201d \u201cI have to increase my self-care,\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m more irritable and lashing out at the people in my life who I care about.\u201d<\/p>\n Focus on right now\u2014versus the future.<\/strong> Instead of thinking about what bipolar disorder holds for the future, again focus on what you can accept right now<\/em>. After all, things change<\/a>. Van Dijk shared these examples: \u201cI\u2019ll never work again\u201d can become \u201cI can\u2019t work right now\u201d; \u201cI have to take meds for the rest of my life\u201d can become \u201cI need to stay on my meds at least for the time-being.\u201d<\/p>\n Make a list. <\/strong>It\u2019s natural for people to flip-flop with acceptance, said Van Dijk. \u201cFor example, someone might accept they have bipolar disorder, and then when they realize that this will prevent them from pursuing a specific career they\u2019ve always dreamed of, they go back to fighting the reality.\u201d<\/p>\n It\u2019s also common to go through stages, she said: After denying the diagnosis, a person accepts it and starts treatment. When they feel much better, they no longer think they have an illness, so they stop taking their medication and become unstable again.<\/p>\n \u201cWhen you go back to not accepting anything, you keep working on turning your mind back to acceptance,\u201d Van Dijk said. She suggested creating a pros and cons chart, asking yourself: \u201cWhat are the pros and cons of accepting my diagnosis and not accepting my diagnosis?\u201d<\/p>\n Write a letter to yourself.<\/strong> Sometimes Van Dijk has her clients write a letter to themselves when they\u2019re stable. They might write a letter to their depressed self, providing support and encouragement: \u201c[Y]our mood will change, you won\u2019t be depressed forever, you have to stay on your meds and go to your appointments, it will get better, etc.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLoved ones are a valuable resource in bipolar acceptance,\u201d Pipich said. But they, too, can struggle with acceptance. Some think bipolar disorder is an excuse for bad behavior, and that accepting the diagnosis means accepting all those negative behaviors, he said. Some fear that the diagnosis will be a label that follows their loved one, \u201cdoing more damage in the future than the disorder can do itself.\u201d<\/p>\n This is why it\u2019s important for loved ones to get educated, as well, and to find professionals who specialize in treating bipolar disorder. It\u2019s also critical to bring all your questions and concerns to your sessions, Pipich said.<\/p>\n \u201cMany times, I see a family with different opinions and different levels of acceptance. So attending educational sessions, for example, can help to unify the family towards a single acceptance strategy. With a solid background of knowledge about bipolar, you can begin to collaborate together with treatment pros, not just remain in fear of what a bipolar diagnosis is all about.\u201d<\/p>\n When you better understand bipolar disorder, you also can remind your loved one that it\u2019s not their fault that they have an illness, Pipich said.<\/p>\n According to Van Dijk, one of the best ways loved ones can provide support is by asking: \u201cWhat can I do to help?\u201d Often people will need you to listen to them in an \u201caccepting, understanding, non-judgmental way.\u201d<\/p>\n Sometimes, they\u2019ll need more hands-on help. Van Dijk shared these examples: A person over-spends during a hypomanic episode, so a loved one holds onto their credit card until they\u2019re more stable. A person isolates themselves during a depressive episode, so a loved one joins them on a daily walk. A person has substance issues, so a loved one drives them to AA meetings and counseling sessions.<\/p>\n Pipich stressed the importance of being positive and encouraging about treatment. \u201c[A]void disparaging statements about doctors, therapists, medications, and other aspects of bipolar treatment.\u201d<\/p>\n He also emphasized consistency. \u201cA person\u2019s journey through bipolar stabilization has its ups and downs, and in some cases, plenty of them.\u201d Your loved one might even seem like they\u2019re giving up. Which can leave you feeling discouraged and wanting to give up, too. This is when it\u2019s vital to remain resolute in supporting the treatment goals, and seeking your own therapy can help, too, Pipich said.<\/p>\n Some researchers believe that up to 5 percent of the population has some form of bipolar disorder, he said. \u201cThat\u2019s about 350 million people worldwide. Accepting your bipolar diagnosis definitely means you are not alone.\u201d And it also means that you will get better.<\/p>\n Visit Original Source<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" One of the biggest challenges in treating bipolar disorder is actually accepting the diagnosis. Because, of course, if you don\u2019t believe you have an illness, you won\u2019t focus on managing it. Psychotherapist Sheri Van Dijk, MSW, RSW, has run a group for individuals with bipolar disorder for over a decade. <\/p>\n Read More<\/a>
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\nUnderstand what acceptance really is.<\/strong> Acceptance isn\u2019t liking something, or even being OK with it, said Van Dijk, the author of several books, including\u00a0Calming the Emotional Storm: Using Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills to Manage Your Emotions & Balance Your Life<\/em><\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Bipolar Disorder<\/a><\/em>.<\/p>\n
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\nLearn everything you can about bipolar disorder.<\/strong> \u201cWe all can fear what we don\u2019t understand,\u201d said Pipich, author of the new book Owning Bipolar: How Patients and Families Can Take Control of Bipolar Disorder<\/a><\/em>. As humans, we tend to fill the gaps in our knowledge with our own worst nightmares\u2014and with horror stories we\u2019ve heard from others, he said.<\/p>\n
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\nReconsider what the diagnosis means.<\/strong> \u201cHaving a bipolar disorder diagnosis is not a curse,\u201d Pipich said. \u201cIt\u2019s an opportunity to get the help you need.\u201d It\u2019s an opportunity to improve your mental and physical health. It\u2019s an opportunity to compassionately care for yourself. It\u2019s an opportunity to improve your relationships and your life.<\/p>\nFor Loved Ones<\/h3>\n
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Shared by Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S., Contributing Blogger<\/a> October 4, 2018<\/p>\n