{"id":7710,"date":"2018-09-08T09:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-09-08T14:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/how-to-best-support-a-loved-one-with-bipolar-disorder\/"},"modified":"2019-01-16T10:24:09","modified_gmt":"2019-01-16T15:24:09","slug":"how-to-best-support-a-loved-one-with-bipolar-disorder","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/how-to-best-support-a-loved-one-with-bipolar-disorder\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Best Support a Loved One with Bipolar Disorder"},"content":{"rendered":"

Bipolar disorder is a difficult illness. For Arden Tucker, an episode of depression can be especially debilitating. Like many who experience bipolar disorder, Tucker fears she won\u2019t recapture the essence of who she really is, the person she was before<\/em> the depression began.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy bipolar depression can feel insidious,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s because even though Tucker takes medication, her depression is cyclical, so it\u2019ll return \u201cagain, and again, and again.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her partner of 35 years is a tremendous support. One of the most important ways Tucker\u2019s partner supports her is by checking on her when she starts to get depressed. She asks Tucker if she\u2019d like to share how she\u2019s feeling, and if she can identify the trigger for her sinking mood.<\/p>\n

Colleen King\u2019s wife knows her warning signs well, and they have an agreement that her input is always welcome. \u201cShe expresses her concern about my well-being, and will talk with me about any behavioral or emotional changes she\u2019s observed.\u201d<\/p>\n

King noted that her wife is like her barometer. Because she feels emotionally safe with her, King regularly shares how she\u2019s doing, and requests her wife\u2019s feedback.<\/p>\n

Sometimes, Tucker\u2019s partner makes suggestions. For instance, when Tucker is feeling anxious, her partner asks if her anti-anxiety medication may help to calm her and minimize the emotional pain. King\u2019s partner does the same. She encourages King to reduce her stress and use her coping skills, which include exercising, meditating and working in the garden.<\/p>\n

Tucker\u2019s partner also motivates her to get out of the house when she becomes depressed\u2014which is vital so she doesn\u2019t isolate herself even more. For instance, she might invite Tucker to the dog park. \u201cShe knows that I particularly like and often miss the other regular dogs and their owners.\u201d Her partner also looks for events they can attend together, along with making plans with their close friends. Anything outside is especially helpful. \u201cThe fresh air and distraction from the ruminations in my mind always come as a welcomed treat,\u201d Tucker said.<\/p>\n

Of course, everyone is different, which means that your loved one might need a different kind of support. They might balk at suggestions and get defensive. They might feel like you\u2019re telling them what to do. Both Tucker and King are psychotherapists who specialize in treating people with bipolar disorder. Below, both experts shared tips that are important and helpful for supporting anyone with the illness.
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\nHave a written plan.<\/strong> \u201cIt can be a huge challenge for support people to get a positive response\u00a0from someone while they\u2019re in a manic, depressed, or mixed state episode when\u00a0there isn\u2019t good communication and a pre-existing plan on how to support them back to stability, said King<\/a>, LMFT, who also specializes in treating depression and anxiety at her private practice in Sacramento, Calif.<\/p>\n

She suggested sitting down together and writing out a plan that: spells out what would feel supportive for your loved one and help them to get stable; along with specific signs unique to them that indicate the start of an episode (e.g., \u201cthey no longer go grocery shopping and forget to eat; they begin multiple home projects and work on them until 3 a.m. without being tired the next day\u201d).<\/p>\n

For instance, Therese Borchard and her husband have several critical rules. As she writes in this piece<\/a>, \u201cI call the doctor after three days of incessant crying or no\u00a0sleep. I tell him when I\u2019m suicidal. He stays with me when I\u2019m a danger to myself.\u00a0However, the most important rule is this: I have promised him that I will take my meds.\u201d<\/p>\n

King also suggested readers ask their loved ones about the kind of language that feels supportive and non-judgmental to them. This helps to reduce defensiveness and conflict. For instance, she said, instead of telling your loved one, \u201cYou\u2019re being\u2026,\u201d you might say, \u201cI\u2019ve noticed you seem\u2026\u201d This \u201ccan get the message across in a direct yet gentle and encouraging manner.\u201d<\/p>\n

Lastly, include suggestions for self-care and coping strategies to manage symptoms, and involvement of their doctor and therapist, King said.<\/p>\n

Genuinely listen to your loved one. <\/strong>Validate how they\u2019re feeling, and listen with compassion and empathy, said Tucker<\/a>, AMFT, who provides culturally diverse psychotherapy services for individuals, couples, and adolescents who may be dealing with depression, stress, anxiety, grief and loss, relationship issues, or transitions through life.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe are each unique individuals and our feelings are our \u2018truths.\u2019 Feelings are neither right or wrong.\u201d So accept your loved one\u2019s reality, without interjecting your own views or beliefs, without judging their feelings, thoughts or desires, she said.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t mistake emotions for a crisis.<\/strong> King\u2019s clients often say that they feel like they need to hide their emotions from their loved ones, because they automatically assume they\u2019re having an episode. But really they\u2019re just experiencing normal emotional responses to life.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo while communicating your concern is appropriate, understand that people with bipolar disorder are going to have bad days, get frustrated, excited, or sad just like everyone else,\u201d King said.
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\nDon\u2019t encourage a brighter outlook. <\/strong>Tucker stressed the importance of not telling your loved one to stop attaching such importance to their struggles and simply adopt a brighter perspective. \u201cMany, many well-meaning people suggest that one\u2019s religion and closeness with their respective God can deliver them from suffering.\u201d<\/p>\n

The problem? People who are very devout may see themselves as failures because they haven\u2019t been able to heal or feel better, she said. They may feel great guilt and shame.<\/p>\n

Help your loved one find good resources. <\/strong>Help them find a support group or a program of peers, Tucker said. It\u2019s incredibly important for your loved one to surround themselves with other people who have bipolar disorder because they can provide understanding and empathy, she said. After all, they\u2019ve been there, too. They get it.<\/p>\n

You might start your search at your state\u2019s behavioral health department, or ask for additional resources when contacting an agency, organization or non-profit, Tucker said.<\/p>\n

The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance offers in-person support groups<\/a> and online groups<\/a>. NAMI Peer-to-Peer<\/a> is a free, 10-session educational program for adults with mental illness to help them understand their condition and get better. NAMI Connection<\/a> is a free, peer-lead support group for people living with mental illness.<\/p>\n

Care for yourself. <\/strong>It\u2019s also critical for you to have your own support and self-care plan, in addition to knowing your personal warning signs that you\u2019re becoming over-stressed, King said. For instance, you might consider joining a support group for loved ones of people with bipolar disorder. Maybe you, too, work with a therapist.<\/p>\n

Ultimately, Tucker\u2019s clients tell her that when their family and friends show them that they matter\u2014regardless of the barriers they\u2019re facing\u2014they feel \u201cheld and loved.\u201d \u201cThis unconditional love and support provides a desperately needed foundation for clients who too often identify themselves as \u2018feeling lost.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Her clients also are grateful for the patience their loved ones show them, particularly the ones who are closest to them \u201cwho witness or experience behaviors or symptoms of bipolar disorder that are not considered normative by people who do not understand these challenges.\u201d<\/p>\n

While it\u2019s not always easy, you too can show your loved one that they are undoubtedly and unconditionally held and loved. And maybe you can do the same for yourself.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/div>

Visit Original Source<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Bipolar disorder is a difficult illness. For Arden Tucker, an episode of depression can be especially debilitating. Like many who experience bipolar disorder, Tucker fears she won\u2019t recapture the essence of who she really is, the person she was before the depression began. \u201cMy bipolar depression can feel insidious,\u201d she <\/p>\n

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Shared by Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S., Contributing Blogger<\/a> September 8, 2018<\/p>\n

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