{"id":7964,"date":"2019-06-12T12:19:24","date_gmt":"2019-06-12T17:19:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/4-conflict-resolution-skills-to-manage-anger\/"},"modified":"2019-06-12T12:19:24","modified_gmt":"2019-06-12T17:19:24","slug":"4-conflict-resolution-skills-to-manage-anger","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/4-conflict-resolution-skills-to-manage-anger\/","title":{"rendered":"4 Conflict Resolution Skills to Manage Anger"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"p2\"><span class=\"s1\">Managing your anger means not saying or doing things you\u2019ll later regret.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span id=\"more-3761\"><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p2\"><span class=\"s1\"> It means calming yourself, assessing situations with a cool head, and taking sensible actions. It basically involves making choices around four components of your behavior: <\/span><\/p>\n<ul class=\"ul1\">\n<li class=\"li2\"><span class=\"s1\">1 \u00a0Expressing yourself <\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li2\"><span class=\"s1\">2 \u00a0Taking care of yourself <\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li2\"><span class=\"s1\">3 \u00a0Building up your tolerance for frustration <\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li2\"><span class=\"s1\">4 \u00a0Maintaining a positive outlook <\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"p2\"><span class=\"s1\">EXPRESSING YOURSELF <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p2\"><span class=\"s1\">When you express yourself, you <\/span><span class=\"s3\">promote constructive communication. <\/span><span class=\"s1\">Have you ever heard the expression that communication is 10 percent information and 90 percent emotion? It means that good communication is more than just send- ing a message. It\u2019s like a game of catch. It involves making sure that the message you send someone else is the message they\u2019ve received, and that the message you receive is the message the other person has sent. Easier said than done! <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p2\"><span class=\"s1\">Communication is effective and constructive when actions match words. If your words and actions don\u2019t match, then your listener will ask you for clarity, and you will need to o er it. So as you talk with someone, pay attention to how you\u2019re feeling, to the words you\u2019re using, and to what your body language may be saying. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p2\"><span class=\"s1\">Because communication is a two-way street, expressing yourself effectively also means listening to your partner in a conversation. For example, if your husband\/wife is saying the same thing over and over, maybe he\/she thinks his\/her emotions haven\u2019t been heard along with his\/her words. That\u2019s a common issue because it\u2019s so easy for a listener to jump over someone\u2019s feelings and start giving advice, sharing facts, or trying to minimize a problem instead of really hearing what the other person is saying. But when you refuse to hear someone else\u2019s feelings, you\u2019re saying, in effect, \u201cYour feelings are not okay. You have no right to feel that way.\u201d And when you verbally attack other people, they respond by defending themselves and counterattacking, and pretty soon the discussion has escalated into something so completely unrelated to honest emotional needs that further talking can\u2019t lead to a solution. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p2\"><span class=\"s1\">This works the other way, too\u2014if you\u2019re not fully heard, then you can\u2019t communicate your needs. So it\u2019s understandable that you feel frustrated or angry when you\u2019re not feeling heard and the other person just cuts you off by saying, \u201cThat\u2019s ridiculous!\u201d You can\u2019t solve a problem that you don\u2019t understand, and full communication\u2014listening to words while also listening for feelings\u2014is what leads to understanding. Surprisingly, though, there\u2019s often no need to solve the problem, whatever it is, once the people discussing it are sure that their feelings have been heard. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p2\"><span class=\"s1\">TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p2\"><span class=\"s1\">When you take care of yourself, you <\/span><span class=\"s3\">promote your own happiness<\/span><span class=\"s1\">. Your happiness is just as important as anyone else\u2019s, so set some limits on others\u2019 demands. Your whole day doesn\u2019t have to be a round of people-pleasing tasks. Today maybe some- one else can pick up the dry cleaning or mow your mother\u2019s lawn. Again, though, this is easier said than done. People who want you to do things for them may think you\u2019re being sel sh if you say no, and you may think so yourself. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p2\"><span class=\"s1\">But this is really more about self-preservation. How can you truly care for others if you don\u2019t care for yourself rst? Besides, why not be a role model for self-care? Otherwise, all you\u2019ll be doing is teaching others that you\u2019ll always be there to solve their problems, and they\u2019ll never learn to do that themselves. It may be hard to set boundaries and then watch people struggle, but that\u2019s how people grow. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p2\"><span class=\"s1\">BUILDING UP YOUR TOLERANCE FOR FRUSTRATION <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p2\"><span class=\"s1\">When you increase your tolerance for frustration, you <\/span><span class=\"s3\">foster forgiveness<\/span><span class=\"s1\">. If some- one hurts you\u2014a neighbor tells lies about you behind your back, your business partner steals from you, your spouse has an a air\u2014you want to lash out in anger, especially if the other person\u2019s behavior involves a personal betrayal, or if there\u2019s a signi cant di erence in power between you and the person who hurt you. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p2\"><span class=\"s1\">When you can\u2019t hit back, your frustration can feel extreme. Why shouldn\u2019t you seek revenge? Why should you ever forgive anyone who betrays you? These are legitimate questions. And the answers have to do with an important fact: <\/span><span class=\"s3\">Forgiving someone else\u2019s bad behavior is not the same thing as forgetting or condoning the behavior. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p2\"><span class=\"s1\">Forgetting means repressing\u2014bottling up hurt and anger. But forgiveness is a powerful stance because it rests on the ability to let go of your painful feelings about a person or an event so you can move on with your life. Someone else\u2019s bad behavior caused you pain, and you are making the choice to let your anger and pain go. Forgiving others\u2019 hurtful behavior is an opportunity for you to let them be responsible for themselves. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p2\"><span class=\"s1\">Your act of forgiveness is for your benefit, not anyone else\u2019s. As the old say- ing goes, holding a grudge against someone is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. When you seek revenge or wish harm to another, the bit- terness of your feelings depletes your energy and prevents your pain from healing. But when you increase your tolerance for frustration\u2014that is, your tolerance for not lashing out when others hurt or disappoint you\u2014you can learn more about the world and discover new opportunities to grow and stay healthy, because you\u2019ve developed the power to let go of the past and enjoy your life in the present. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p2\"><span class=\"s1\">MAINTAINING A POSITIVE OUTLOOK <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p2\"><span class=\"s1\">When you maintain a positive outlook, you become more able to <\/span><span class=\"s3\">manage your interpretation of events. <\/span><span class=\"s1\">Your outlook on life\u2014its speci c events and the other people involved in them\u2014has much more to do with how you feel than it does with actual events and people in your life. If you see the world as a terrible place where the cards are stacked against you, then you create a formula for anger, sadness, or worry. You have a choice about what you emphasize in the world around you. If you wake up in the morning and it\u2019s raining, you can interpret that fact as a per- sonal a ront from nature and bemoan the gray, depressing day to come. Or, you can look out at the rain and feel content to be warm and dry in your comfortable home. It\u2019s really up to you<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"likebtn_container\" style=\"\"><!-- LikeBtn.com BEGIN --><span class=\"likebtn-wrapper\"  data-identifier=\"post_7964\"  data-site_id=\"63347fe36fd08b6c05de3d9e\"  data-dislike_enabled=\"false\"  data-icon_dislike_show=\"false\"  data-white_label=\"true\"  data-style=\"\"  data-unlike_allowed=\"\"  data-show_copyright=\"\"  data-item_url=\"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/4-conflict-resolution-skills-to-manage-anger\/\"  data-item_title=\"4 Conflict Resolution Skills to Manage Anger\"  data-item_image=\"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/files\/2019\/02\/anger-300x94.gif\"  data-item_date=\"2019-06-12T12:19:24-05:00\"  data-engine=\"WordPress\"  data-plugin_v=\"2.6.59\"  data-prx=\"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-admin\/admin-ajax.php?action=likebtn_prx\"  data-event_handler=\"likebtn_eh\" ><\/span><!-- LikeBtn.com END --><\/div><p><a href=\"https:\/\/blogs.psychcentral.com\/anger\/2019\/05\/4-conflict-resolution-skills-to-manage-anger\/\" target=\"_blank\">Visit Original Source<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Managing your anger means not saying or doing things you\u2019ll later regret. It means calming yourself, assessing situations with a cool head, and taking sensible actions. It basically involves making choices around four components of your behavior: 1 \u00a0Expressing yourself 2 \u00a0Taking care of yourself 3 \u00a0Building up your tolerance <\/p>\n<p><a class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/4-conflict-resolution-skills-to-manage-anger\/\">Read More<\/a><br \/><img alt='' src='\/\/www.gravatar.com\/avatar\/5fdb6db55f063f5e986443bb42db6b14?s=32&#038;r=g&#038;d=https%3A%2F%2Funitedresourceconnection.org%2Fwp-content%2Fblogs.dir%2F1%2Ffiles%2F2011%2F08%2Fcandlesburning.jpeg' srcset='\/\/www.gravatar.com\/avatar\/5fdb6db55f063f5e986443bb42db6b14?s=32&#038;r=g&#038;d=https%3A%2F%2Funitedresourceconnection.org%2Fwp-content%2Fblogs.dir%2F1%2Ffiles%2F2011%2F08%2Fcandlesburning.jpeg 2x' class='avatar avatar-32 photo' height='32' width='32' loading='lazy' decoding='async'\/>  Shared by <a href=\"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/membership-directory\/aaronkarmin\/profile\">Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger<\/a>  June 12, 2019<\/p>\n<div class=\"likebtn_container\" style=\"\"><!-- LikeBtn.com BEGIN --><span class=\"likebtn-wrapper\"  data-identifier=\"post_7964\"  data-site_id=\"63347fe36fd08b6c05de3d9e\"  data-dislike_enabled=\"false\"  data-icon_dislike_show=\"false\"  data-white_label=\"true\"  data-style=\"\"  data-unlike_allowed=\"\"  data-show_copyright=\"\"  data-item_url=\"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/4-conflict-resolution-skills-to-manage-anger\/\"  data-item_title=\"4 Conflict Resolution Skills to Manage Anger\"  data-item_image=\"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/files\/2019\/02\/anger-300x94.gif\"  data-item_date=\"2019-06-12T12:19:24-05:00\"  data-engine=\"WordPress\"  data-plugin_v=\"2.6.59\"  data-prx=\"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-admin\/admin-ajax.php?action=likebtn_prx\"  data-event_handler=\"likebtn_eh\" ><\/span><!-- LikeBtn.com END --><\/div>","protected":false},"author":1109,"featured_media":7890,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5630],"tags":[4140,10105],"class_list":["post-7964","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-clinicians-blog","tag-anger-management","tag-archive"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7964","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1109"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7964"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7964\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7890"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7964"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7964"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7964"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}