{"id":8340,"date":"2020-05-18T22:37:56","date_gmt":"2020-05-19T03:37:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/asking-for-what-you-want\/"},"modified":"2020-05-18T22:37:57","modified_gmt":"2020-05-19T03:37:57","slug":"asking-for-what-you-want","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/asking-for-what-you-want\/","title":{"rendered":"Asking for What You Want"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"diary\"When one person loves the other much more than is reciprocated, the power is all on the side of the less loving.<\/p>\n

Many people are unable to express their wants. They prevent themselves from asking for what they desire because:<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2022 \u201cThey want to avoid displeasing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2022 \u201cThey want to avoid looking selfish or inconsiderate.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2022 \u201cThey want to avoid appearing weak and dependent.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2022 \u201cThey believe they won\u2019t get it anyway so why bother?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2022 \u201cThey don\u2019t feel they deserve to get it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2022 \u201cThey think they will feel guilty if they got it and then they\u2019d have to give it back in the end. They want to avoid feeling obligated to return the favor.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2022 \u201cThere\u2019s no guarantee They will get it. They are afraid to take the risk of failing. They worry they will take their failure personally. It would hurt too much. It hurts less to just do without.\u201d<\/p>\n

All of these pessimistic expectations are consistent with self-contempt. These perspectives seek to avoid the painful disaster that pessimistic people predict for themselves.<\/p>\n

One suggestion to deal with these concerns would be to push our comfort zone and ask others for what we want. That is taking control. But asking for what we want is a risk because someone can say no. taking a risk is scary. It takes courage, and some of us are willing to take the risk of facing the unknown for how someone will respond.<\/p>\n

Unrequited love image<\/a> available from Shutterstock.<\/small><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/div>

Visit Original Source<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When one person loves the other much more than is reciprocated, the power is all on the side of the less loving. Many people are unable to express their wants. They prevent themselves from asking for what they desire because: \u2022 \u201cThey want to avoid displeasing.\u201d \u2022 \u201cThey want to <\/p>\n

Read More<\/a>
Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger<\/a> May 18, 2020<\/p>\n

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