{"id":8433,"date":"2020-07-01T05:08:17","date_gmt":"2020-07-01T10:08:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/fostering-acceptance-identifying-negative-thoughts\/"},"modified":"2020-07-01T05:08:17","modified_gmt":"2020-07-01T10:08:17","slug":"fostering-acceptance-identifying-negative-thoughts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/fostering-acceptance-identifying-negative-thoughts\/","title":{"rendered":"Fostering Acceptance: Identifying Negative Thoughts"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">We all have a running inner dialogue of thoughts. Sometimes this inner self talk is pessimistic, critical or blaming.<br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span id=\"more-3927\"><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">By attending to our inner self talk, we will notice critical thoughts intruding, and that\u2019s ok. \u00a0We need to look carefully at our angry thoughts and try to see if we are making errors in the way we interpret situations. It can help to examine long held beliefs about anger and challenge those, which are unhelpful. Distorted thinking involves angry thoughts that flash into our mind and make us feel worse. People tend to have recurring thoughts that arise again and again when angry.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> \u201cHe is looking over here at me and thinks I\u2019m stupid\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> \u201cThey always let me down\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> \u201cShe just doesn\u2019t care about me, she is selfish\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> \u201c[Expletive!] What a piece of [expletive] junk! Now we\u2019re going to be [expletive] late!\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> \u201c[Expletive!] What a [expletive] jerk! He knew this was an important [expletive] meeting! So why is he [expletive] late?\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Try This<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">The way we think has a lot to do with the way we feel, so changing our thoughts from a hateful, negative orientation to a calm, positive orientation becomes essential in managing feelings of hurt and insult. We can begin by spending 15 minutes every day capturing our thought process on paper. Looking at our thoughts on paper helps us to identify the exaggerated pessimistic thoughts we have. After identifying our negative thoughts, write several positive statements for each negative one. We can focus on what we can do about the problem. Replace unfulfilled longing with realistic goals or plans for change. When we can\u2019t do anything to change a problematic situation, we can work toward acceptance.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">We can keep a list of our most common negative thought habits and positive alternatives for each. Refer to this list whenever negative thoughts arise, until we can substitute helpful alternatives from memory or immediately make up new thought alternatives to counter the negative thoughts. We can remind ourselves;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u2013 It won\u2019t always be like this<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u2013 I am responsible for my efforts, not the outcomes<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u2013 It\u2019s about the journey, not the destination<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u2013 Right now I am ok<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u2013 I have put up with disappointments all my life; I can tolerate this one too.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u2013 Not getting my way is only disappointing, not the end of the world.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u2013 I don\u2019t have to have everything you want. The world was not made just for me.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u2013 In order to achieve pleasant results, I often have to do unpleasant things.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u2013 I cannot predict the future or prevent things from happening. I can take life as it comes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u2013 I\u2019m cooperating to get the job done as best I can under battlefield conditions.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u2013 I am not out of control. I have the power of choice, to choose and live up to my own standards.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u2013 I am not unlovable. I feel that way now because of past experiences. I am no more or less loveable than anyone else.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u2013 I am not guilty of a crime, just imperfect. They are using guilt to control me.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u2013 I do not have to defend myself. I can express regret that this happened.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u2013 I am not worthless, only imperfect.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u2013 I am not perfect, I\u2019m not required to be.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u2013 I am a good person going through a hard time.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u2013 I will get through this.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u2013 I can handle this,<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u2013 This feeling will pass.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u2013 I am a good person whether they appreciate it or not.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"likebtn_container\" style=\"\"><!-- LikeBtn.com BEGIN --><span class=\"likebtn-wrapper\"  data-identifier=\"post_8433\"  data-site_id=\"63347fe36fd08b6c05de3d9e\"  data-dislike_enabled=\"false\"  data-icon_dislike_show=\"false\"  data-white_label=\"true\"  data-style=\"\"  data-unlike_allowed=\"\"  data-show_copyright=\"\"  data-item_url=\"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/fostering-acceptance-identifying-negative-thoughts\/\"  data-item_title=\"Fostering Acceptance: Identifying Negative Thoughts\"  data-item_image=\"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/files\/2019\/02\/anger-300x94.gif\"  data-item_date=\"2020-07-01T05:08:17-05:00\"  data-engine=\"WordPress\"  data-plugin_v=\"2.6.59\"  data-prx=\"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-admin\/admin-ajax.php?action=likebtn_prx\"  data-event_handler=\"likebtn_eh\" ><\/span><!-- LikeBtn.com END --><\/div><p><a href=\"https:\/\/blogs.psychcentral.com\/anger\/2020\/07\/fostering-acceptance-identifying-negative-thoughts\/\" target=\"_blank\">Visit Original Source<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We all have a running inner dialogue of thoughts. Sometimes this inner self talk is pessimistic, critical or blaming. By attending to our inner self talk, we will notice critical thoughts intruding, and that\u2019s ok. \u00a0We need to look carefully at our angry thoughts and try to see if we <\/p>\n<p><a class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/fostering-acceptance-identifying-negative-thoughts\/\">Read More<\/a><br \/><img alt='' src='\/\/www.gravatar.com\/avatar\/5fdb6db55f063f5e986443bb42db6b14?s=32&#038;r=g&#038;d=https%3A%2F%2Funitedresourceconnection.org%2Fwp-content%2Fblogs.dir%2F1%2Ffiles%2F2011%2F08%2Fcandlesburning.jpeg' srcset='\/\/www.gravatar.com\/avatar\/5fdb6db55f063f5e986443bb42db6b14?s=32&#038;r=g&#038;d=https%3A%2F%2Funitedresourceconnection.org%2Fwp-content%2Fblogs.dir%2F1%2Ffiles%2F2011%2F08%2Fcandlesburning.jpeg 2x' class='avatar avatar-32 photo' height='32' width='32' loading='lazy' decoding='async'\/>  Shared by <a href=\"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/membership-directory\/aaronkarmin\/profile\">Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger<\/a>  July 1, 2020<\/p>\n<div class=\"likebtn_container\" style=\"\"><!-- LikeBtn.com BEGIN --><span class=\"likebtn-wrapper\"  data-identifier=\"post_8433\"  data-site_id=\"63347fe36fd08b6c05de3d9e\"  data-dislike_enabled=\"false\"  data-icon_dislike_show=\"false\"  data-white_label=\"true\"  data-style=\"\"  data-unlike_allowed=\"\"  data-show_copyright=\"\"  data-item_url=\"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/fostering-acceptance-identifying-negative-thoughts\/\"  data-item_title=\"Fostering Acceptance: Identifying Negative Thoughts\"  data-item_image=\"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/files\/2019\/02\/anger-300x94.gif\"  data-item_date=\"2020-07-01T05:08:17-05:00\"  data-engine=\"WordPress\"  data-plugin_v=\"2.6.59\"  data-prx=\"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-admin\/admin-ajax.php?action=likebtn_prx\"  data-event_handler=\"likebtn_eh\" ><\/span><!-- LikeBtn.com END --><\/div>","protected":false},"author":1109,"featured_media":7890,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5630],"tags":[4140,10105],"class_list":["post-8433","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-clinicians-blog","tag-anger-management","tag-archive"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8433","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1109"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8433"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8433\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7890"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8433"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8433"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8433"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}