![\"\"](\"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/files\/2020\/07\/shutterstock_361074086-e1452790798628.jpg\")
Who are difficult people?
\n\u2013 people who irritate us
\n\u2013 people who make us lose control over a situation
\n\u2013 people who use manipulation to get what they want
\n\u2013 people who make us feel anxious, upset, frustrated, angry, etc.<\/p>\n
<\/span><\/p>\n Dealing with difficult people means dealing with difficult behavior! If your response to their behavior is negative, you will contribute to their difficult behavior. You may not be able to change their behavior \u2013 people only change when they want to change. However, you can manage your own response or reactions to their difficult behavior. Knowing how to communicate effectively will hopefully influence them in a positive way as you are acting as a model for proper behavior in a difficult situation.<\/p>\n What makes people difficult? Common reaction when dealing with difficult people 2. You\u2019re upset. However, you do not say anything and concentrate on solving the problem. 3. Before responding, recognize that they are angry at the situation, not you. You just happen to be there so you become the recipient of their anger or frustration. Basic Communication Skills 2. Interpretation 3. Do not offer your opinion 4. Make the best of a bad situation 5. Listening. Argument photo<\/a> available from Shutterstock<\/small><\/p>\n Visit Original Source<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Who are difficult people? \u2013 people who irritate us \u2013 people who make us lose control over a situation \u2013 people who use manipulation to get what they want \u2013 people who make us feel anxious, upset, frustrated, angry, etc. Dealing with difficult people means dealing with difficult behavior! If <\/p>\n Read More<\/a>
\n\u2013 Their needs are not being met!
\n\u2013 They have high need for human intimacy but fear closeness. The need for intimacy brings them towards others emotionally but their fear of closeness pushes them away. When they become difficult, they succeed when they are rejected. If you respond to their hurt and their desire for closeness not to their difficult behavior, their difficult behavior will stop or at least, will decrease.<\/p>\n
\n1. You defend yourself.
\n\u2013 When someone is rude and angry, you feel attacked verbally. You become defensive and find reasons to excuse the problem. This is an automatic response.
\n\u2013 They do not care whether you or somebody else made the mistake. They just want for the problem to be resolved.
\n\u2013 This is a no-win situation for you. You become defensive and frustrated. They remain difficult as the problem has not been solved.<\/p>\n
\n\u2013 Even though you\u2019re not showing your emotions, you\u2019re upset and without realizing, you are absorbing their anger. Eventually, you will release your anger. You may become irritable with your peer, supervisor, spouse, your dog or worse, you start drinking to get into a better mood or to relax.
\n\u2013 This is a win situation for them as they got what they needed. However, this is a no-win situation for you. You are still upset and displace your anger towards others even though they had nothing to do with the situation.<\/p>\n
\n\u2013 Since they are angry at the situation, not you, there is no need for you to become defensive!
\n\u2013 You accomplish this by:
\n\u2013 asking questions to clarify the problem
\n\u2013 paraphrase the problem to demonstrate your understanding of the problem.<\/p>\n
\n1. Paraphrasing: to express meaning in other words; to re-phrase; to amplify a message.
\n\u2013 If you are repeating what they tell you, that\u2019s not paraphrasing- that\u2019s parroting.
\n\u2013 If you ask for confirmation of your understanding of the problem, that\u2019s paraphrasing
\n\u2013 Paraphrasing is essential in communication. It shows that you listen and understand their situation.<\/p>\n
\nMany words mean different things to different people. Do not make assumptions that you know what they are, especially when the information is not clear. Very often, we hear what we want to hear. Clarify the information being given!<\/p>\n
\nWhen someone is upset, he is not interested in your opinion of what happened. He just wants for the problem to be resolved.
\n\u2013 Ask questions and paraphrases what they are telling you, to check your understanding of the problem.
\n\u2013 Establish a plan of action.
\n\u2013 Set a deadline for the problem to be resolved.
\n\u2013 Follow-up!<\/p>\n
\n\u2013 Remain calm.
\n\u2013 Do not argue or make accusations.
\n\u2013 Check your understanding by paraphrasing what the client said.
\n\u2013 Be consistent in your response.<\/p>\n
\nWe spent 80% of our conscious hours using basic communication skills; writing, reading, speaking and listening. Listening accounts for more than 50% of the time. We listen in spurts. Most of us are unable to give 100% attention to what\u2019s being said for more than 60 seconds at a time. We concentrate for a while, then our attention lags, then we concentrate again.
\n\u2013 We speak at a speed of 125 to 150 wpm. Yet, we\u2019re capable of listening at a speed of 750-1,200 wpm.
\n\u2013 Ways to improve your listening skills: \u2013 pay attention to what is being said
\n\u2013 do not make assumption
\n\u2013 paraphrase what is being said
\n\u2013 listen for feelings<\/p>\n<\/span><\/div>
Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger<\/a> July 2, 2020<\/p>\n<\/span><\/div>","protected":false},"author":1109,"featured_media":8437,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5630],"tags":[4140,10105],"class_list":["post-8436","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-clinicians-blog","tag-anger-management","tag-archive"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8436","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1109"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8436"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8436\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8437"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8436"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8436"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/goodyear-village-az-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8436"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}