{"id":7660,"date":"2018-11-27T18:30:25","date_gmt":"2018-11-27T23:30:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/keokee-va-cdp\/how-to-stop-fighting-with-your-partner\/"},"modified":"2018-11-27T18:30:26","modified_gmt":"2018-11-27T23:30:26","slug":"how-to-stop-fighting-with-your-partner","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/keokee-va-cdp\/how-to-stop-fighting-with-your-partner\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Stop Fighting with Your Partner"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Managing and resolving conflict requires emotional maturity, self-control, and empathy.<\/p>\n

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It can be tricky, frustrating, and even frightening. You can ensure that the process is as positive as possible by sticking to the following conflict resolution guidelines:<\/p>\n

\u00b7 Make the relationship your priority. Maintaining and strengthening the relationship, rather than \u201cwinning\u201d the argument, should always be your first priority. Be respectful of the other person and his or her viewpoint.<\/p>\n

\u00b7 Focus on the present. If you\u2019re holding on to old hurts and resentments, your ability to see the reality of the current situation will be impaired. Rather than looking to the past and assigning blame, focus on what you can do in the here and now to solve the problem.<\/p>\n

\u00b7 Pick your battles. Conflicts can be draining, so it\u2019s important to consider whether the issue is really worthy of your time and energy. Maybe you don\u2019t want to surrender a parking space if you\u2019ve been circling for 15 minutes. But if there are dozens of spots, arguing over a single space isn\u2019t worth it.<\/p>\n

\u00b7 Be willing to forgive. Resolving conflict is impossible if you\u2019re unwilling or unable to forgive. Resolution lies in releasing the urge to punish, which can never compensate for our losses and only adds to our injury by further depleting and draining our lives.<\/p>\n

\u00b7 Know when to let something go. If you can\u2019t come to an agreement, agree to disagree. It takes two people to keep an argument going. If a conflict is going nowhere, you can choose to disengage and move on.<\/p>\n

\u00b7 Remain calm. Try not to overreact to difficult situations. By remaining calm it will be more likely that others will consider your viewpoint.<\/p>\n

\u00b7 Express feelings in words, not actions. Telling someone directly and honestly how you feel can be a very powerful form of communication. If you start to feel so angry or upset that you feel you may lose control, take a \u201ctime out\u201d and walk away for 20 minutes to feel steadier.<\/p>\n

\u00b7 Be specific about what is bothering you. Vague complaints are hard to work on.<\/p>\n

\u00b7 Deal with only one issue at a time. Don\u2019t introduce other topics until each is fully discussed. This avoids the \u201ckitchen sink\u201d effect where people throw in all their complaints while not allowing anything to be resolved.<\/p>\n

\u00b7 No \u201chitting below the belt.\u201d Attacking areas of personal sensitivity creates an atmosphere of distrust, anger, and vulnerability.<\/p>\n

\u00b7 Avoid accusations. Accusations will cause others to defend themselves. Instead, talk about how someone\u2019s actions made you feel.<\/p>\n

\u00b7 Don\u2019t generalize. Avoid words like \u201cnever\u201d or \u201calways.\u201d Such generalizations are usually inaccurate and will heighten tensions.<\/p>\n

\u00b7 Avoid \u201cmake believe.\u201d Exaggerating or inventing a complaint or your feelings about it will prevent the real issues from surfacing. Stick with the facts and your honest feelings.<\/p>\n

\u00b7 Don\u2019t stockpile. Storing up lots of grievances and hurt feelings over time is counterproductive. It\u2019s almost impossible to deal with numerous old problems for which interpretations may differ. Try to deal with problems as they arise.<\/p>\n

Avoid clamming up. When one person becomes silent and stops responding to the other, frustration and anger can result. Positive results can only be attained with two way communication.<\/p>\n

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Visit Original Source<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Managing and resolving conflict requires emotional maturity, self-control, and empathy. It can be tricky, frustrating, and even frightening. You can ensure that the process is as positive as possible by sticking to the following conflict resolution guidelines: \u00b7 Make the relationship your priority. Maintaining and strengthening the relationship, rather than <\/p>\n

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Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger<\/a> November 27, 2018<\/p>\n

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