{"id":7687,"date":"2018-08-04T09:45:00","date_gmt":"2018-08-04T14:45:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/westley-ca-cdp\/accepting-and-caring-for-your-sensitive-soul\/"},"modified":"2018-09-26T20:20:55","modified_gmt":"2018-09-27T01:20:55","slug":"accepting-and-caring-for-your-sensitive-soul","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/westley-ca-cdp\/accepting-and-caring-for-your-sensitive-soul\/","title":{"rendered":"Accepting and Caring for Your Sensitive Soul"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>You\u2019re a sensitive person, and you\u2019re not particularly proud of it. You\u2019ve probably been told oh-so many times that you\u2019re\u00a0too\u00a0sensitive and too emotional. You\u2019re delicate and fragile, and you need to toughen up. You need to build thicker skin\u2014or you\u2019ll never survive in this world, or get anything done.<\/p>\n

Maybe you grew up believing that you\u2019re also too picky, too serious and too quiet. You\u2019re too hesitant with making decisions. And you\u2019re high maintenance on top of all of that. <\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWe live in a culture that doesn\u2019t tend to value qualities associated with the trait of sensitivity, so I think many of us grow up thinking there\u2019s something wrong with us,\u201d said Laura Torres, LPC, a holistic mental health counselor who specializes in working with sensitive individuals, and gave the above examples.<\/p>\n

Many sensitive souls also grow up in families or around peers where they\u2019re the only sensitive person, she said. Which often leads you to dismiss and bury aspects of your sensitivity in order to fit in. You pretend these qualities simply don\u2019t exist. You find yourself regularly apologizing for who you are\u2014and resenting it.<\/p>\n

And you end up internalizing your \u201cdifferences as deficiencies or weaknesses versus competencies and strengths.\u201d<\/p>\n

We also start to perceive our sensitivity as problematic because of the way environments and workplaces are set up, which naturally caters to the majority in our culture. So there usually isn\u2019t an emphasis on taking breaks when needed, quiet spaces, natural lighting, minimal stimulation, and understanding sensitivity as a valuable trait (versus some liability), Torres said.<\/p>\n

That means \u201cwe\u2019re forced to accommodate and adjust to a lifestyle that\u2019s not as conducive for our sensitivity, which often leaves us feeling under-resourced and over-stressed.\u201d<\/p>\n

So what can you do? Do you deny an integral part of yourself? Do you stop listening to your sensitivity? Do you make it your goal to grow thicker, tougher skin?<\/p>\n

What you do is you honor<\/em> yourself. Below, are five tips on how.
\n
\nFocus on strengths and benefits. <\/strong>In her workshops, Torres<\/a> asks individuals to list all the strengths, benefits and things they love about being sensitive. For instance, maybe you\u2019re able to read the energy of a room and know exactly how to make it more comfortable. Maybe you\u2019re a teacher who knows when her students need extra support. Maybe you\u2019re able to really savor a delicious meal. Maybe you\u2019ve used your deep appreciation for art, music and nature to connect with your children.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s also helpful to get super specific, and identify the situations where your sensitivity has supported you or someone else. Torres shared this example: \u201cEmpathy is something I love about being sensitive, and here\u2019s a time it was helpful: I could tell something was wrong because of his tone so I asked a little bit more and he ended up opening up and really appreciating my support.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLike anything, what we focus on grows so the more we can focus on the qualities we love about ourselves, the easier it becomes to notice and continue to live into a person who fully embraces and appreciates their sensitivity,\u201d Torres said.
\n
\nMeet your needs.<\/strong> Notice the early signs that you\u2019re feeling drained and overwhelmed, and give yourself what you need in that moment. \u201cOne of the huge benefits of being highly sensitive is that we are very aware so it tends to be pretty easy for us to notice what we need in those moments\u201d\u2014though it\u2019s not always easy to follow through, Torres said.<\/p>\n

For instance, maybe you need space, and thereby need to set a firmer boundary. Maybe you need to ask for more time to complete a project. Maybe you need to say \u201cLet me think about it,\u201d when someone requests your help (instead of automatically saying, \u201cabsolutely!\u201d and realizing you\u2019ll need three days to recover).<\/p>\n

Carve out downtime. <\/strong>Torres noted that sensitive individuals usually require more downtime than less sensitive people. Consider building downtime into your schedule before you drastically need it. Think about your own definition of downtime. What genuinely relaxes you? What rejuvenates you? What helps you shut out the noise of the world and tune into yourself?<\/p>\n

For instance, maybe you schedule 20 minutes of reading time after your kids have gone to bed. Maybe you eat your lunch at the park, while savoring your food and your natural surroundings. Maybe as soon as you get home, you take 10 minutes to put on your headphones, close your eyes, listen to classical music, and let your mind wander.<\/p>\n

Channel your sensitivity into speaking up.<\/strong> Torres noted that sensitive individuals tend to hold back from expressing their needs and their truth because they anticipate that the other person will be disappointed and upset. But not speaking up ensures that the other person never really gets to know you\u2014the real you<\/em>\u2014and you start to get resentful, she said.<\/p>\n

When you do speak up, any of the outcomes are beneficial. According to Torres, the other person ends up being receptive and appreciative, which deepens your relationship\u2019s security; or they become upset and disappointed, and you\u2019re able to work through it, also deepening the relationship; or they get upset and disappointed, and you\u2019re unable to work through it, which helps you \u201cmove on from the relationship so that we create space for someone who is able to be receptive and loving when we show up fully.\u00a0\u201c<\/p>\n

You can use your sensitivity to express yourself with empathy and compassion. You can start your talk on a positive note: \u201cYou\u2019re a great friend and I\u2019m telling you this because I care about you\u2026\u201d You can be vulnerable, share your feelings and take responsibility. (Learn more in this piece<\/a>, along with specific examples.) You can be genuinely curious about the other person\u2019s feelings and perspective, and listen fully when they speak. And you can remind yourself that your heart is important<\/a>, too.<\/p>\n

Find comfort outside your comfort zone. <\/strong>Your sensitive soul isn\u2019t a hindrance that stops you from pursuing your desires and goals. You can still honor yourself as you try new, intimidating things. According to Torres, \u201cgoing beyond your comfort zone is only helpful if you\u2019re still in your resiliency zone or window of tolerance, meaning that you\u2019re not so far out of your comfort zone that your body is going into fight or flight.\u201d<\/p>\n

As you push past your edges, she suggested considering the resources that help you stay in your resiliency zone. For instance, you\u2019ve decided to attend a networking event for podcasters. But you don\u2019t know anyone. So you \u201cbring a friend, reach out ahead of time to the organizer to know what to expect [and] brainstorm some easy conversation starters.\u201d In other words, you prepare in a way that aligns with and is respectful of your sensitive nature.<\/p>\n

Again, your sensitivity isn\u2019t a problem or burden or obstacle you need to overcome. Rather, your sensitivity helps you notice things that others don\u2019t, Torres said. Which is vital for both your profession, and your family life. Your sensitivity creates \u201cspace for others to be vulnerable and show up more fully.\u201d You may notice that a friend is struggling with something that goes beyond baby blues\u2014and support her in getting the help she needs. You may pick up on a client\u2019s need, and find a creative way to accommodate it.<\/p>\n

Your sensitive soul is a beautiful strength. It might take some time for you to realize it, but focus on respecting it anyway, even if acceptance isn\u2019t a reality just yet. Act as if it is, and your thoughts will eventually follow.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/div>

Visit Original Source<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You\u2019re a sensitive person, and you\u2019re not particularly proud of it. You\u2019ve probably been told oh-so many times that you\u2019re\u00a0too\u00a0sensitive and too emotional. You\u2019re delicate and fragile, and you need to toughen up. You need to build thicker skin\u2014or you\u2019ll never survive in this world, or get anything done. Maybe <\/p>\n

Read More<\/a>
Shared by Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S., Contributing Blogger<\/a> August 4, 2018<\/p>\n

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