{"id":7694,"date":"2018-07-29T10:47:00","date_gmt":"2018-07-29T15:47:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/westley-ca-cdp\/how-do-i-know-if-therapy-is-working-and-other-questions-about-therapy-answered\/"},"modified":"2018-09-26T20:20:58","modified_gmt":"2018-09-27T01:20:58","slug":"how-do-i-know-if-therapy-is-working-and-other-questions-about-therapy-answered","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/westley-ca-cdp\/how-do-i-know-if-therapy-is-working-and-other-questions-about-therapy-answered\/","title":{"rendered":"How Do I Know if Therapy Is Working? And Other Questions About Therapy Answered"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>When someone outside of therapy learns that Panthea Saidipour is a psychoanalytic psychotherapist, their first question is usually: \u201cAre you analyzing me right now?\u201d Saidipour jokingly responds they shouldn\u2019t worry because she\u2019s off the clock.<\/p>\n

But this question actually reveals a common concern clients have, whether they mention it aloud or not: \u201cAre you judging me right now?\u201d<\/p>\n

Judgment has no place in therapy, said Saidipour, who works with young professionals in their 20s and 30s who want to gain a deeper understanding of themselves.\u00a0It kills curiosity. And curiosity is critical in therapy.<\/p>\n

\u201cA few of the main goals of psychotherapy, as I see them, are to deepen your understanding of yourself, to help you get more in touch with your inner thoughts and feelings, and to make what\u2019s unconscious more conscious,\u201d Saidipour said. \u201cThis requires shifting from a place of judgment to curiosity about yourself.\u201d And it\u2019s from this place of curiosity that clinicians also operate.<\/p>\n

The issue of judgment is just one of many questions that comes up. Below, you\u2019ll find other questions clinicians get asked regularly, along with their responses.<\/p>\n

Can you help me?<\/h3>\n

This is probably the number one question psychotherapist Katrina Taylor<\/a>, LMFT, gets asked by potential clients, who are wondering about her knowledge and experience, and if they\u2019d be a good fit. Taylor stressed the importance of attending an initial session to see what it feels like to talk with a therapist\u2014and to trust your gut feeling about whether they can help you or not.<\/p>\n

Of course, this is hard to do if you\u2019re in crisis or in the depths of a difficult illness, which is why Taylor shared these suggestions: Pause to check in with your body and yourself in the session. Ask yourself: How do I feel? What are my emotions telling me?<\/p>\n

It\u2019s totally normal to feel anxious, because you\u2019re meeting this therapist for the first time and sharing some vulnerable parts of yourself, Taylor said. \u201cBut if this therapist is a good fit for you, you should also feel like you\u2019re listened to and treated with respect.\u201d<\/p>\n

There also should be some understanding of your problem, she said. And while your issues won\u2019t be resolved in one session, you and the therapist should have an understanding of how to move forward.<\/p>\n

Sometimes, this might look like: \u201cLet\u2019s figure out what the problem is.\u201d \u201cOther times, it can be more specific, such as \u2018you\u2019ve been struggling with lifelong depression and you don\u2019t know why. Our task is to work together to understand why you feel that way.\u2019<\/p>\n

According to psychologist Matt Varnell<\/a>, Ph.D, \u201cTherapy is about building a relationship that helps\u00a0you endure the pain of change.\u201d So if your therapist feels cold or distant, you probably won\u2019t trust them enough to fully engage in therapy, he said. \u201cHaving the experience that your therapist understands you and can relate well to you is the best indication that therapy will be successful,\u201d said Varnell, who practices at The Center for Psychological and Family Services in the Chapel Hill, North Carolina area.<\/p>\n

And, lastly, you\u2019ll know that a therapist is a good fit if you leave the session with some hope, Taylor said.<\/p>\n

Isn\u2019t therapy like talking to a friend?<\/h3>\n

In a way, it is, said Ryan Howes<\/a>, Ph.D, a psychologist in Pasadena, Calif. \u201cWhen you talk to a friend you can feel supported, understood, and maybe even hear some helpful advice.\u201d<\/p>\n

However, therapy also is very different. According to Howes, that\u2019s because: clinicians are bound by confidentiality, which means they can\u2019t share anything you say in session (unless you\u2019re a danger to yourself or someone else); the focus is exclusively on you (not your therapist\u2019s issues); and you\u2019re working with a professional who specializes in helping people with your particular concerns.<\/p>\n

As Howes said, \u201cYour friend may be great in her line of work and sharp where relationships are concerned, but a graduate degree and thousands of hours of experience providing therapy aren\u2019t even in the same league.\u201d Even if your friend is a therapist, they\u2019re limited in the help they can provide in that role, he added.<\/p>\n

What do therapists think about during session?<\/h3>\n

As Saidipour<\/a> noted, some clients worry that their therapists are judging them. Or they\u2019re simply curious about what goes through their therapist\u2019s mind as they\u2019re talking.<\/p>\n

Varnell typically thinks about what it\u2019s like for his clients to live their lives, and how it feels to be them. \u201cIn an odd way, it is almost like a movie of their life is playing in my brain as they talk to me. Often times I am trying to imagine what it would be like for my clients to experience different events given their unique histories.\u201d<\/p>\n

For instance, Varnell worked with a client whose parents punished them by taking the door off their room. In one session, the client shared they were anxious about their boss asking questions about their personal life. \u201cAs the client was describing that anxiety, a vision of the client sitting in their room with their door off flashed into my mind. I was able to say, \u2018Yeah, it\u2019s almost like the door is off your room again and you aren\u2019t entitled to any privacy.\u2019 The client stated, \u2018Yes, that is exactly what it is like.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

How do I know if therapy is working?<\/h3>\n

According to Howes, the most obvious sign is that your symptoms are decreasing, and you\u2019re accomplishing your goals. For instance, you came to therapy to become more assertive at work. You\u2019ve already asked for a raise and spoke up when a coworker took all the credit for a joint project.<\/p>\n

Other signs, however, are less concrete. For instance, for you, improvement might look like trusting another person with your story and emotions, Howes said. \u201cMaybe just being willing to focus on yourself and ask why you do what you do is a sign of progress, as you would normally numb out through busyness, screen time, or self-medication.\u201d<\/p>\n

It also might look like noticing patterns in your life, and getting more curious about your automatic reactions, Saidipour said.<\/p>\n

But improvement isn\u2019t linear, and things can get worse before they get better. Howes used the analogy of cleaning out a closet: \u201cWhen you open the closet and start emptying it out, it can feel a bit overwhelming and messy at first. But when you start organizing things and determining what you need and don\u2019t, it becomes more manageable and really feels like progress.\u201d<\/p>\n

It also might seem worse because you\u2019re feeling more painful emotions due to greater self-awareness, Taylor said. \u201cClients can get scared when they feel more. They\u2019re afraid of their anger, hurt and sadness.\u201d Which is understandable. However, this kind of work is the path to long-term healing, she said.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re wondering whether therapy is working, Howes suggested raising the question with your therapist, such as asking: \u201cI sometimes wonder if we\u2019re making any headway here. Are we making any progress toward my goals?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCertainly, I can understand feeling a little skeptical about asking your therapist if therapy is working\u2014as they have some stake in the response\u2014but their answer should make some logical sense to you and help you feel more clear about the answer,\u201d Howes said. And if it doesn\u2019t and you feel your therapy isn\u2019t helping, it might be time to find another therapist.<\/p>\n

People often want to know how therapy works and exactly what it\u2019ll feel like before they start, Saidipour said. But the relationship between each client and each clinician is unique. \u201cThe\u00a0best way to learn about therapy is to experience it for yourself, and the most rigorous psychotherapy training programs require trainees to experience it for themselves,\u201d too.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/div>

Visit Original Source<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When someone outside of therapy learns that Panthea Saidipour is a psychoanalytic psychotherapist, their first question is usually: \u201cAre you analyzing me right now?\u201d Saidipour jokingly responds they shouldn\u2019t worry because she\u2019s off the clock. But this question actually reveals a common concern clients have, whether they mention it aloud <\/p>\n

Read More<\/a>
Shared by Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S., Contributing Blogger<\/a> July 29, 2018<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/div>","protected":false},"author":1105,"featured_media":7695,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5630],"tags":[10105,4144],"class_list":["post-7694","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-clinicians-blog","tag-archive","tag-clinicians-on-the-couch"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/westley-ca-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7694","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/westley-ca-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/westley-ca-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/westley-ca-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1105"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/westley-ca-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7694"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/westley-ca-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7694\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/westley-ca-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7695"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/westley-ca-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7694"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/westley-ca-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7694"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unitedresourceconnection.org\/westley-ca-cdp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7694"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}