‘Grief Awareness Week’ and Lakota way of death

ROCKVILLE MD – The first week of December is observed as National Grief Awareness Week, an important and compassionate observance dedicated to raising awareness about grief and loss, according the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). It aims to break the stigma surrounding grief, acknowledging that it is a natural response to loss and can affect individuals in various ways. This week also provides an opportunity to offer empathy, support, and understanding to those who are grieving and promote open conversations about this often-sensitive topic.

Emphasizing that grief is a universal and a typically challenging part of the human experience, National Grief Awareness Week is also a time to remind the community that support is available. It shines a light on people, places, and projects that help people through some of the most difficult times in their lives.

According to Alive Hospice (alivehospice.org), there are more than 574 Native American tribal nations and villages in the U.S., each with its own rich history and culture around death. One common thread is that death is considered a natural part of life, and customs for the dead in the Native American community typically prepare the soul for the spiritual journey or for the spirit to “walk on.” This implies a continuation of a journey rather than an end point.

According to research conducted by Stanford University, most American Indian traditions teach that when a person dies or walks on, there is be a reunion with the ancestors and those that have gone before.

Many tribes, including the Lakota, see the deceased as ever-present ancestral spirits who can lend aid. Traditional Lakota people reach out to spirits in times of need and communicate with them. They do believe in a spirit world (Wakan Tanka) in the sky in which the deceased are free of pain and suffering. For tribal nations that view death in this way, moving from this world to the next is not something to be mourned, but rather it is something to be celebrated.

Rather than disconnecting with the dead, many traditional Native American peoples continue to have a relationship with them. From this perspective, death is not a defeat. It is not the result of an offense against God or some other deity but, rather, the common fate of all.

Tara Brach is a multicultural American psychologist, author and teacher of Buddhist meditation. According to Brach, “In the Lakota/ Sioux tradition, a person who is grieving is considered most wakan, most holy. There’s a sense that when someone is struck by the sudden lightning of loss, he or she stands on the threshold of the spirit world. The prayers of those who grieve are considered especially strong, and it is proper to ask them for their help. … with someone who has grieved deeply, …the mystery is looking out through that person’s eyes. … In the groundless openness of sorrow, there is a wholeness of presence and a deep natural wisdom.”

Jack Kornfield, international best-selling author and Buddhist practitioner, said, “(Traditional) Lakota grief was something to be valued. It brought a person closer to God.”

Among Lakota, grief is often expressed through crying, singing, wailing, cutting of hair, and cutting one’s body, as well as Seven Sacred Ceremonies of the Pipe. According to the Akta Lakota Museum Cultural Center, sometimes there is a giveaway, in which people are encouraged to take one of the deceased’s personal belongings. Among traditional Lakota, generosity is more important than possession.

Burial customs vary widely among Native Americans. Many tribes have specific rituals and ceremonies concerning care of the body after death in order that the spirit crosses over safely to the other side.

Traditional Lakota people in the past sometimes used burial platforms like a scaffold or tree to bring the deceased closer to the sky. When animals consumed the body, this was considered bringing the life cycle full circle.

Lakota often choose earth burial as well. They view the earth as the Great Mother. When a family member dies, a dirt burial is the best way to reconnect with the planet and free the soul.

Death ceremonies and traditions around the world often have a similar central purpose. That central purpose is community. Mourning rituals are meant to bring people together to take the hands of those mourning the loss and gently lead them out of isolation.

Unfortunately, death rituals are becoming nearly non-existent in the United States among descendants of Europeans, as well as in Europe and in Canada. Death ceremonies often consist only of a wake or a funeral, and then…nothing. More and more families are foregoing funerals and memorial services altogether. Mourners are left to process their grief alone, which creates the necessity of National Grief Awareness Week.

Those who wish to get involved in National Grief Awareness Week can consider the following suggestions:

– Share Personal Stories: Encourage individuals to share their experiences with grief, either through written narratives, art, or verbal discussions. This sharing can help others feel less alone in their grief journey.

– Attend Grief Support Events: Look for local or online grief support events, workshops, and seminars. These can provide valuable information and a supportive community for those in need.

– Offer a Listening Ear: Sometimes, the most significant support you can provide is to listen without judgment. Offer your time and empathy to someone who is grieving.

– Spread Awareness: Use social media and other platforms to share information about National Grief Awareness Week, including facts about grief and resources for support. See tinyurl.com/2yutxsha for a free social media toolkit from SAMHSA with graphics to use on social media.

– Support Grief Organizations: Contribute to or volunteer with organizations dedicated to helping individuals cope with grief and loss.

Great Plains 988 Tribal Response reminds the community that free confidential emotional support is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week simply by calling or texting 988. This service is available for those who are experiencing grief as well as for those experiencing other challenges.

NOTE: Grace Terry is the author of The Spiral Pathway of Grief: A Traveler’s Guidebook (available on amazon), which summarizes Terry’s 40+ years of experience as a mental health professional and a survivor of multiple traumatic losses. In observance of National Grief Awareness Week 2024, Terry offers a free copy of her book while supplies last to anyone willing to pay $5.00 for shipping and handling.

(Contact Grace Terry at graceterrywilliams@gmail.com)

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