Many of my clients seek therapy because they cannot accept that some things in life cannot be changed:”I wish I hadn’t been abused in childhood”; “I wish my spouse was different”; “I wish these things weren’t happening to me.” When you desire to control the uncontrollable, you set yourself up
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Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger May 16, 2020
Once there was an octopus she would wrap her tentacles around firm, solid rocks to feel secure and comfortable. As she grew, the octopus ventured further out, exploring deeper water. One day the large hull of a ship came along and cast its gloomy shadow over the water. This enormous
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger May 2, 2020
Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room’s only window. The other man had to spend all his
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger May 2, 2020
When we worry about an event, we focus on an imaginary threat that is not happening in reality. Below are 3 suggestions to address the reactions associated with anxiety and panic. 1) In most cases, simply taking a few moments to practice some simple relaxation exercises, such as deep breathing,
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger April 11, 2020
Find someone you trust. Talk with a family member or close friend about your experience. Contact a friend and have someone stay with you for a few hours or a day. Don’t carry this burden alone; share it with those who care about you. Talking about the stressful event will
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger April 3, 2020
If your loved one came home with a cut on his finger, you would know where to put the Band-Aid. If he had an upset stomach, you would give him an antacid. What do you do for someone who is heartbroken, enraged, guilt ridden, furious, or frustrated? Where do you
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 7, 2020
Emotions are a survival response and cause the human body to trigger the “fight or flight” response. This is a hardwired reaction, in which the body gets literally ready to attack or to flee. Many people label feelings (fear, anger, sadness) as bad or negative states and others (joy, excitement)
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 7, 2020
Why is it that we fall in love with our dream-mate and then spend the next forty years yelling, fighting and screaming as if we had married our worst enemy? It makes no sense. It makes even less sense to get a divorce and marry someone just like the first
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 7, 2020
Anger is an instinctual emotional response from a real or imagined threat. Anger is painful and we need to get relief. We almost always feel something else first before we get angry: afraid, hopeless, hurt, disrespected, disappointed, or guilty. We use anger to protect/cover up these other vulnerable feelings. We
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 7, 2020
We may feel like we are being helpful by preventing our loved ones from struggling, but we are not allowing them to learn how to effectively manage adversity. To some of us, happiness is useless. Happiness is “easy.” It does not prove that we are “tough,” that we can “take
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger February 22, 2020