When you hold on to past hurt, you’re actually trying to relieve your pain by putting other people down and building yourself up. You may imagine that nursing old wounds is the way to be in control and prevent the humiliating exposure of your imperfections. You may even entertain vengeful
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Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger November 13, 2019
When we do not understand how to effectively deal with anger, we often choose coping methods that are harmful. Here are some unhealthy ways of coping with anger: • Putting anger down. We deny anger or repress it. Some of us like to keep our “nice person” image and not
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger November 5, 2019
Let me tell you about Mr. and Mrs. R, a couple I recently saw in my office. When they came in, they recounted an argument they’d had the previous Friday. They’d started the day in bed, cuddling and snuggling affectionately. But then Mr. R felt his wife resisting. He snapped
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger October 30, 2019
Accusing our loved one of being “overly sensitive” or having “no sense of humor” doesn’t change the fact that they are feeling pain because of something we have said or done. Guest blogger Stephanie Quattrocki shares her thoughts on the impact anger has on relationships and how to heal. “I
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger October 19, 2019
Jealousy can be a problem in any type of relationship and can appear in anyone’s life at any time. Whether you are jealous of your partner, a friend, a family member or a co-worker, the effects are the same. You can have jealousy with other people’s things, their success, their
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger October 11, 2019
The media is full of experts giving people advice. They tell us how to be good parents, loving spouses, supportive friends. The press is full of tips for handling our aging parents, our difficult bosses. The problem is most of it doesn’t work. There are many reasons why superficial, impersonal
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger October 10, 2019
When we allow people to vent their feelings and bare their frustrations, we might feel that the conflict is just getting worse. Often we can benefit by staying with the conflict a little while longer. Reversing an old saying, we could be witnessing the storm before the calm. Once people
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger October 7, 2019
Stress is tension and pressure that occurs in our lives because of various demands, responsibilities and concerns. When our boss tells us to work harder or when our children bug us for attention while we’re trying to watch a football game – that’s stress. When we’re caught in traffic or
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger September 26, 2019
If you see the world as a terrible place in which to live, other people as unfair, or life as having the cards stacked against you, you create a formula for anger, sadness or worry. Like when you are leaving for work on a dark, cold, wet morning and you
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger September 25, 2019
Maybe someone accuses you of untrue things behind your back. Maybe your business partner steals from you. Maybe a manager fails to uphold a promise. Maybe your partner has an affair. In cases involving a personal betrayal, keep in mind one important fact: Forgiveness is not the same thing as
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger September 16, 2019