Anger is an instinctual emotional response from a real or imagined threat. Anger is painful and we need to get relief. We almost always feel something else first before we get angry: afraid, hopeless, hurt, disrespected, disappointed, or guilty. We use anger to protect/cover up these other vulnerable feelings. We
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Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 7, 2020
Jerome wanted to know why he still felt so badly about his parents’ divorce. He couldn’t understand it. He was ten years old at the time. He came to counseling to begin his search for the answer. Therapist: “What is the worst thing about your parents’ divorce?” Jerome: “It feels
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger February 13, 2020
Most of us spend a lot of time criticizing ourselves. For example, if the thought comes up ‘I’m so ugly’, and we dwell on all the moments we felt unattractive, it gains power. When we stew, chew or brood, we are investing more energy in a thought and in turn
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger February 13, 2020
Matt was unhappy with his job. He became an accountant because he thought it would please his parents and that it would prove that he was better than what they though he was. His oldest brother had been divorced three times; his middle brother has been out of work for
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger February 13, 2020
We are surrounded by material things designed to give us the good life, a life of pleasure. We have medications to relieve the suffering of our aches and pains. It is ironic that we still find ways to suffer, to hide from the possibility of happiness. Our possessions are supposed
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger January 31, 2020
When we find the causes of our problems, we don’t find “sick” inner parts; we find old assumptions, old beliefs, old expectations, old commitments, or old goals that we now see as limited. We feel excited about finally finding the inner sources of our problems, and we want to change
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger January 31, 2020
Everyone tells new parents how hard it’s going to be. But you can’t really know till you’re there yourself, sleep deprived, wanting to do your best at this very important job, and always feeling overwhelmed by the demands. This is an especially hard time for couples. A lot of people
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger January 31, 2020
Our problems with guilt, often have two components: the current triggering “offense,” and our underlying, residual feelings from the past. When something in the present reminds us of a similar feeling from the past, they combine to make us feel guiltier than we need to feel. This excessive guilt can
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger January 31, 2020
We spend much of our lives asking the wrong questions and complaining we can’t get a straight answer. For example, “Why are you so stupid?” or “How can I get him to change?” These questions are “wrong” because they miss the point, they are counter-productive, and they make the problem
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger January 31, 2020
Here are five reasons to why couples should seek counseling: 1) Strengthen Communication Skills: Being able to effectively listen, truly hear and validate the other’s position is a skill that isn’t necessarily a “given” for many people. Couples that really communicate effectively can discuss and resolve issues when they arise
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger January 31, 2020