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Tough Guys: Don’t Show That You Care

Emotions are a survival response and cause the human body to trigger the “fight or flight” response. This is a hardwired reaction, in which the body gets literally ready to attack or to flee. Many people label feelings (fear, anger, sadness) as bad or negative states and others (joy, excitement)

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Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 5, 2020

Why Do We Obsess and Worry about the Past and Future

We may feel like we are being helpful by preventing our loved ones from struggling, but we are not allowing them to learn how to effectively manage adversity. To some of us, happiness is useless. Happiness is “easy.” It does not prove that we are “tough,” that we can “take

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Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 5, 2020

Don’t Get Triggered: Talking Through Anger in Relationships

If your loved one came home with a cut on his finger, you would know where to put the Band-Aid. If he had an upset stomach, you would give him an antacid. What do you do for someone who is heartbroken, enraged, guilt ridden, furious, or frustrated? Where do you

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Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 5, 2020

Go Away, Come Closer: Unable to Stop the Cycle of Arguments

Why is it that we fall in love with our dream-mate and then spend the next forty years yelling, fighting and screaming as if we had married our worst enemy? It makes no sense. It makes even less sense to get a divorce and marry someone just like the first

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Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 5, 2020

Are You “Strong”? How to Feel More in Control

Matt was unhappy with his job. He became an accountant because he thought it would please his parents and that it would prove that he was better than what they though he was. His oldest brother had been divorced three times; his middle brother has been out of work for

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Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger February 12, 2020

Angry Kids: Tips to Cope with an Out of Control Child

Why do some children lash out? Why do they throw things around the room, yell at the people they love and smack those who they rely on? Most parents feel inadequately prepared to cope with anger problems because they never had anger management training. They hate it. They are afraid

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Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger February 10, 2020

It’s All My Fault: Taking the Blame for Others

Jerome wanted to know why he still felt so badly about his parents’ divorce. He couldn’t understand it. He was ten years old at the time. He came to counseling to begin his search for the answer. Therapist: “What is the worst thing about your parents’ divorce?” Jerome: “It feels

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Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger February 10, 2020

Dwelling on Our Mistakes: Why do We Judge and Shame Ourselves?

Most of us spend a lot of time criticizing ourselves. For example, if the thought comes up ‘I’m so ugly’, and we dwell on all the moments we felt unattractive, it gains power. When we stew, chew or brood, we are investing more energy in a thought and in turn

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Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger February 10, 2020

Why is It My Fault? Problem Focused Thinking

Our problems with guilt, often have two components: the current triggering “offense,” and our underlying, residual feelings from the past.  When something in the present reminds us of a similar feeling from the past, they combine to make us feel guiltier than we need to feel.  This excessive guilt can

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Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger January 27, 2020

New Baby and Marital Conflicts: Is This Normal?

Everyone tells new parents how hard it’s going to be. But you can’t really know till you’re there yourself, sleep deprived, wanting to do your best at this very important job, and always feeling overwhelmed by the demands. This is an especially hard time for couples. A lot of people

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Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger January 27, 2020

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