There are four reasons we get angry: • 1 Seeking revenge. We feel hurt, so we use anger to get even and make things fair. • 2 Preventing disaster. We feel worried, so we use anger to attack others to get control. • 3 Pushing others away. We feel sad,
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Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger June 27, 2018
Many of us perceive ourself as being at the center of the world. This attitude is called egocentrism. As a consequence of this naive, self-centered perspective, we mistakenly conclude that we are somehow responsible for everything that happens in the world. We feel accountable for all the bad things that happen
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger June 27, 2018
Some of us feel terribly out of control when others are unable to “explain” events to our satisfaction. When we are unable to come up with an acceptable solution to a problem, we are often left focusing on who is at fault. It is like having an open wound. It
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger June 27, 2018
When we feel badly about ourselves, we may imagine that we can relieve our pain by “proving” that we are superior. This is called overcompensation. The trouble is that it doesn’t work. We all want to be better than we are. We want to be smarter, happier, thinner, richer, wittier,
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger June 27, 2018
Some people deal with their guilt by blaming others. We may deny our guilt because, very often, we are so full of guilt from the past that we cannot tolerate the addition of one more ounce in the present. We may be afraid that we will lash out, breakdown, or
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger June 27, 2018
For some of us, happiness is not a given. We have to earn it. We have to work and struggle to prove we deserve it. Too many of us are working at it in an unhealthy way and wondering why our happiness is getting farther away instead of closer. The
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger June 27, 2018
Anxiety is a completely normal physical response to protect ourself against a threat. It’s not ‘crazy’, ‘bitchy’, or controlling, and it is not a weakness to worry. There is a primitive part of the brain that’s geared toward driving our attention to threats. When it does, the body surges with
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger June 27, 2018
Henry had come to town to be with his father, who was in failing health. He thought he’d stay a week or two and then return home. However, his father began opening up and engaging in deeper talks, something Henry never had when he was younger. Henry was getting insight
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger June 27, 2018
Henry realized that he had not been in control all these years as he thought, he was just playing roles, wasting his life seeking approval. The game of tug-o-war was over, he was not going to pick up the rope and get dragged through the mud. Henry dropped the
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger June 27, 2018
My sister and me in Taos, New Mexico, circa 1984. Look how happy we are. I think it’s because we didn’t take the last run. Ahem. Father’s Day is coming up this weekend, which has got me thinking about my Dad. He gave me a lot of advice over the
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Shared by Carla Naumburg, Ph.D, Contributing Blogger June 14, 2018