Jerome wanted to know why he still felt so badly about his parents’ divorce. He couldn’t understand it. He was ten years old at the time. He came to counseling to begin his search for the answer. Therapist: “What is the worst thing about your parents’ divorce?” Jerome: “It feels
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Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 5, 2020
Most of us spend a lot of time criticizing ourselves. For example, if the thought comes up ‘I’m so ugly’, and we dwell on all the moments we felt unattractive, it gains power. When we stew, chew or brood, we are investing more energy in a thought and in turn
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 5, 2020
Emotions are a survival response and cause the human body to trigger the “fight or flight” response. This is a hardwired reaction, in which the body gets literally ready to attack or to flee. Many people label feelings (fear, anger, sadness) as bad or negative states and others (joy, excitement)
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 5, 2020
We may feel like we are being helpful by preventing our loved ones from struggling, but we are not allowing them to learn how to effectively manage adversity. To some of us, happiness is useless. Happiness is “easy.” It does not prove that we are “tough,” that we can “take
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 5, 2020
Matt was unhappy with his job. He became an accountant because he thought it would please his parents and that it would prove that he was better than what they though he was. His oldest brother had been divorced three times; his middle brother has been out of work for
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 5, 2020
If your loved one came home with a cut on his finger, you would know where to put the Band-Aid. If he had an upset stomach, you would give him an antacid. What do you do for someone who is heartbroken, enraged, guilt ridden, furious, or frustrated? Where do you
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 5, 2020
Why is it that we fall in love with our dream-mate and then spend the next forty years yelling, fighting and screaming as if we had married our worst enemy? It makes no sense. It makes even less sense to get a divorce and marry someone just like the first
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 5, 2020
Guest blogger Aimee Daramus wrote this post to promote awareness of suicide prevention resources. For anyone who feels at risk of hurting themselves or otherwise feels triggered by the holidays, please surround yourself with the safest people you know, on and off-line, but protect yourself from any voices that are mocking you,
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger January 23, 2020
We are surrounded by material things designed to give us the good life, a life of pleasure. We have medications to relieve the suffering of our aches and pains. It is ironic that we still find ways to suffer, to hide from the possibility of happiness. Our possessions are supposed
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger January 23, 2020
Our problems with guilt, often have two components: the current triggering “offense,” and our underlying, residual feelings from the past. When something in the present reminds us of a similar feeling from the past, they combine to make us feel guiltier than we need to feel. This excessive guilt can
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger January 23, 2020