When people are upset, the words they use rarely convey the issues and needs at the heart of the problem. When we listen for what is felt as well as said, we connect more deeply to our own needs and emotions, and to those of other people. Tips for being
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Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger July 28, 2020
Our brains are naturally wired to focus on the negative, which can make us feel stressed and unhappy even though there are a lot of positive things in our lives. We learn immediately from pain—you know, “once burned, twice shy.” Unfortunately, the brain is relatively poor at turning positive experiences
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger July 9, 2020
Some of my clients will say to me: “why do I always end up drinking more than I wanted? I just don’t know….I wish I could change how I talk to my son. We always seem to end up fighting. I just don’t know what to do….I can’t believe it.
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger July 4, 2020
At some point in your life, you probably learned the golden rule, ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you’. There is a phrase in Exodus 21:23,24 that many cite as a religious basis for the golden rule “a life for life, eye for eye, tooth for
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger July 4, 2020
We all have a running inner dialogue of thoughts. Sometimes this inner self talk is pessimistic, critical or blaming. By attending to our inner self talk, we will notice critical thoughts intruding, and that’s ok. We need to look carefully at our angry thoughts and try to see if we
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger July 4, 2020
There was a little boy with a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, to hammer a nail in the back fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Then it gradually
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger July 4, 2020
Everyday, somewhere in America, violence erupts. Each night on the news there are people telling their horror stories of injury and trauma, testifying to the terror that occurs in big cities and small communities. Yet this country seems to say with a shrug, “What are you gonna do.” To address
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger July 4, 2020
Who are difficult people? – people who irritate us – people who make us lose control over a situation – people who use manipulation to get what they want – people who make us feel anxious, upset, frustrated, angry, etc. Dealing with difficult people means dealing with difficult behavior! If
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger July 4, 2020
One day a wise and respected king decided to humble his son, whom he saw as arrogant and unfit to take over the thrown. The king said to his son the prince, “My son, there is a certain ring that I want you to bring to me. I wish to
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger July 4, 2020
Antigone of Sophocles: “All men make mistakes, but a good man yields when he knows his course is wrong, and repairs the evil. The only sin is pride.” The mind generally uses the “makes-sense-to-me” rule, where you take a position, look for evidence that supports it, and if
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger June 8, 2020