We may feel like we are being helpful by preventing our loved ones from struggling, but we are not allowing them to learn how to effectively manage adversity. To some of us, happiness is useless. Happiness is “easy.” It does not prove that we are “tough,” that we can “take
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Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger February 19, 2020
Matt was unhappy with his job. He became an accountant because he thought it would please his parents and that it would prove that he was better than what they though he was. His oldest brother had been divorced three times; his middle brother has been out of work for
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger February 11, 2020
Most of us spend a lot of time criticizing ourselves. For example, if the thought comes up ‘I’m so ugly’, and we dwell on all the moments we felt unattractive, it gains power. When we stew, chew or brood, we are investing more energy in a thought and in turn
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger February 7, 2020
Jerome wanted to know why he still felt so badly about his parents’ divorce. He couldn’t understand it. He was ten years old at the time. He came to counseling to begin his search for the answer. Therapist: “What is the worst thing about your parents’ divorce?” Jerome: “It feels
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger February 3, 2020
Why do some children lash out? Why do they throw things around the room, yell at the people they love and smack those who they rely on? Most parents feel inadequately prepared to cope with anger problems because they never had anger management training. They hate it. They are afraid
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger January 29, 2020
Dr. Aimee Daramus shares her insight and expertise in this guest blog about managing emotions when someone you care about has a mental illness. When you have a loved one with a mental illness, you’re going to have a lot of thoughts and feelings, and you may not feel that
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger January 22, 2020
Here are five reasons to why couples should seek counseling: 1) Strengthen Communication Skills: Being able to effectively listen, truly hear and validate the other’s position is a skill that isn’t necessarily a “given” for many people. Couples that really communicate effectively can discuss and resolve issues when they arise
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger January 15, 2020
We spend much of our lives asking the wrong questions and complaining we can’t get a straight answer. For example, “Why are you so stupid?” or “How can I get him to change?” These questions are “wrong” because they miss the point, they are counter-productive, and they make the problem
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger January 10, 2020
Our problems with guilt, often have two components: the current triggering “offense,” and our underlying, residual feelings from the past. When something in the present reminds us of a similar feeling from the past, they combine to make us feel guiltier than we need to feel. This excessive guilt can
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger January 7, 2020
Everyone tells new parents how hard it’s going to be. But you can’t really know till you’re there yourself, sleep deprived, wanting to do your best at this very important job, and always feeling overwhelmed by the demands. This is an especially hard time for couples. A lot of people
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger January 7, 2020