Find someone you trust. Talk with a family member or close friend about your experience. Contact a friend and have someone stay with you for a few hours or a day. Don’t carry this burden alone; share it with those who care about you. Talking about the stressful event will
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Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 28, 2020
Jerome wanted to know why he still felt so badly about his parents’ divorce. He couldn’t understand it. He was ten years old at the time. He came to counseling to begin his search for the answer. Therapist: “What is the worst thing about your parents’ divorce?” Jerome: “It feels
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 13, 2020
Matt was unhappy with his job. He became an accountant because he thought it would please his parents and that it would prove that he was better than what they though he was. His oldest brother had been divorced three times; his middle brother has been out of work for
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 13, 2020
Most of us spend a lot of time criticizing ourselves. For example, if the thought comes up ‘I’m so ugly’, and we dwell on all the moments we felt unattractive, it gains power. When we stew, chew or brood, we are investing more energy in a thought and in turn
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 13, 2020
Emotions are a survival response and cause the human body to trigger the “fight or flight” response. This is a hardwired reaction, in which the body gets literally ready to attack or to flee. Many people label feelings (fear, anger, sadness) as bad or negative states and others (joy, excitement)
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 13, 2020
We may feel like we are being helpful by preventing our loved ones from struggling, but we are not allowing them to learn how to effectively manage adversity. To some of us, happiness is useless. Happiness is “easy.” It does not prove that we are “tough,” that we can “take
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 13, 2020
If your loved one came home with a cut on his finger, you would know where to put the Band-Aid. If he had an upset stomach, you would give him an antacid. What do you do for someone who is heartbroken, enraged, guilt ridden, furious, or frustrated? Where do you
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 13, 2020
Why is it that we fall in love with our dream-mate and then spend the next forty years yelling, fighting and screaming as if we had married our worst enemy? It makes no sense. It makes even less sense to get a divorce and marry someone just like the first
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 13, 2020
Anger is an instinctual emotional response from a real or imagined threat. Anger is painful and we need to get relief. We almost always feel something else first before we get angry: afraid, hopeless, hurt, disrespected, disappointed, or guilty. We use anger to protect/cover up these other vulnerable feelings. We
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 13, 2020
We are surrounded by material things designed to give us the good life, a life of pleasure. We have medications to relieve the suffering of our aches and pains. It is ironic that we still find ways to suffer, to hide from the possibility of happiness. Our possessions are supposed
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger January 31, 2020