Jerome wanted to know why he still felt so badly about his parents’ divorce. He couldn’t understand it. He was ten years old at the time. He came to counseling to begin his search for the answer. Therapist: “What is the worst thing about your parents’ divorce?” Jerome: “It feels
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Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 5, 2020
Most of us spend a lot of time criticizing ourselves. For example, if the thought comes up ‘I’m so ugly’, and we dwell on all the moments we felt unattractive, it gains power. When we stew, chew or brood, we are investing more energy in a thought and in turn
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 5, 2020
Matt was unhappy with his job. He became an accountant because he thought it would please his parents and that it would prove that he was better than what they though he was. His oldest brother had been divorced three times; his middle brother has been out of work for
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 5, 2020
If your loved one came home with a cut on his finger, you would know where to put the Band-Aid. If he had an upset stomach, you would give him an antacid. What do you do for someone who is heartbroken, enraged, guilt ridden, furious, or frustrated? Where do you
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 5, 2020
Emotions are a survival response and cause the human body to trigger the “fight or flight” response. This is a hardwired reaction, in which the body gets literally ready to attack or to flee. Many people label feelings (fear, anger, sadness) as bad or negative states and others (joy, excitement)
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 5, 2020
We may feel like we are being helpful by preventing our loved ones from struggling, but we are not allowing them to learn how to effectively manage adversity. To some of us, happiness is useless. Happiness is “easy.” It does not prove that we are “tough,” that we can “take
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 5, 2020
Why is it that we fall in love with our dream-mate and then spend the next forty years yelling, fighting and screaming as if we had married our worst enemy? It makes no sense. It makes even less sense to get a divorce and marry someone just like the first
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger March 5, 2020
Rejection, it’s what causes so many negative emotions from shyness, to depression, to anger and even despair. Rejection is never easy to accept. In matters of romance, rejection can do even more damage. When you are rejected by someone you deeply want, it can make you feel worthless, unwanted and
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger December 11, 2019
It is useful to identify the specific attitudes behind passive aggressive behavior: “I am right and not wrong.” “It’s never my fault.” “I want my way and I have a right to get it!” “It is your responsibility to give me what I want. When you fail, I have the
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger December 11, 2019
Anger is a healthy emotion in everybody’s life — when it’s expressed in an appropriate manner at the right time. Anger can help to energize and motivate us to work to address problems with another person or to change our life situation. However, there are potential negative consequences of anger when
Read More Shared by Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger December 11, 2019